need a dishwasher

2008-03-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

What went wrong?

It's the question that keeps ringing in my head. yea exactly what went wrong. Anyway the song that I said I would learn.

She keeps her secrets

In her eyes

She wraps the truth

Inside her lies

Just when I can't say

What she's done to me

She comes to me

And leads me back to paradise

She's so hard to hold

But I can't let go

I'm a house of cards

in a hurricane

A reckless ride

In the pouring rain

She cuts me and the pain

Is all I wanna feel

She tears away just like a child

She drives me crazy

Drives me wild

But I'm helpless when she smiles

She smiles

-
Maybe I'd fight if I could

It hurts so bad

But feels so good

She opens up just like

A rose to me

When she's close to me

Anything she'd ask me to

I would
It's out of control

But I can't let go

--
A song, synchronize to a beat close to me.

2008-02-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

Yea, you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

2008-01-30T14:41:00.000+08:00

Beautiful

Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sun

Wonderful, you're wonderful, as wonderful as they come

And I can't help but feel attached

To the feelings I can't even match

With my face pressed up to the glass, wanting you

Beautiful, you're beautiful, as beautiful as the sky

Wonderful, it's wonderful, to know that you're just like I

And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't

But you just can't tell
Who'll you love and who you won't

And I love you, as you love me

So let the clouds roll by your face

We'll let the world spin on to another place

We'll climb the tallest tree above it all

To look down on you and me and them

And I'm sure you know me well, as I'm sure you don't

But you just can't tell, who you'll love and who you won't

Don't let your life wrap up around you

Don't forget to call, whenever

I'll be here just waiting for you

I'll be under your stars forever

Neither here nor there just right beside you

I'll be under the stairs forever

Neither here nor there just right beside you.

2008-01-28T15:40:00.000+08:00

Intoxication

Indulge in my world of shopping, sports and feeling down. It's a mad life that we love, we just won't give it up with the beauty around. Sunday's sun smacked on my face forcing on me the wake up call. I guess I'm feeling much better from the past few days, guess it's the butterfly effect from shopping =). Gloomy weathers and that neverending smile, it's a crazy day. =) =) =)! Will be working tomorrow but I don't feel down and out about it. Took a walk around town today, seeing what Paul Smith, Ted Baker and G-star Raw had to offer for this season. I am starting to feel that walking around town is like downloading temptations. The wants and needs and no inbetweens, just buy something you like.

My shopping guide for dummies on why we should buy expensive clothes:

#1: The more you spend the bigger your confidence grows.

#2: Instead of buying many clothes why not just get one damm good one.

#3: Shopping for more expensive clothes draws the line between cultured to ah beng/ lian.

Yea I know my idea sounds really warped and some might say I'm a bad shopping advisor, but maybe I'm just a sweet talker, giving reasons for high-end shopping haha =). Well I got another pullover from Paul Smith today. Cost a bomb but I love it, that's all that matters hahaha!

My Paul Smith's love =)

2008-01-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

Retainers

Boo! Back with another piece of my mind post. Today wasn't that bad of a day, just the flash thoughts of getting my result tomorrow scares the crap out of me, from time to time. It's a thought which never fails to bring my day rating from a +1 back to a zero. A contradiction of hoping to end work fast but yet a wanting to slow down the doomsday clock. The fading fine line of emotions delivers me into state of perplexity. Emotions are tossed like in a salad dish, getting high at a moment then smashing back down into the bowl. Love, results, and work were the main ingredients for this salad.

So many things I want to do though at the moment, I want to play soccer, go clubbing, hang out with Akarad and gang, I want to go into a poly, I want to run, I want to go back to having a low-carbo diet and I want to break down. With so many things to do, I could just go crazy. -Sings *So little time to so much to do, I rather spend my days with you.*.

Back on track, I feel now I'm going through a retainer process, to hold back and stay in position, moving neither forward nor backward, but all for a good cause. Guess we'll go easy on love, it's paper hearts we're dealing with. alright good night world...

2008-01-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

Butterfly

Hello again, it's been a long while and I'm honestly trying to get used to blogging on a regular basis. Passing my time with the least expected job and new friends. It's a joyride that tracks over the ups and downs of our daily problems. Abiding to one another about oour problems at work is a method we adopted to fight the losing war of wanting time to move faster. Sometimes love feels high up in the dreamy clouds, till reality strikes it back down to earth. I hope it won't be long till I break free and turn into a butterfly. I tie myself down to my made believe hopes, and dream to see it come to pass. I can only blame myself for this act of stupidity due to my ignorance for reality in the love world. Guess what I saw and learnt from the love movies are fairytales to the real world. "Hush hush", goes the crowd, "don't feel like a lonestar, you ain't alone". Thanks people for the cheers and beers, but when my smile gets old and faded, just know that I loved.

Work work with a racing mind and tragic eyes, adding on would be the ticking of a doomsday clock of the O levels. In hope for a new break away in poly, and not the army. Meanwhile I'll find something to pass my time as I wait for so many things to weave it's way out or around.

I know I'm weak now but I'm hanging on, alright that's all for my post. goodnight world...

2008-01-20T15:32:00.000+08:00

Now I'm confused

Hey all once again, there I go again with my reasoning to why the uber late post. Basically put it this way, I can't come up with a nice excuse this time, just my apologies. Alright, making my comeback isn't actually a full package of everything nice, and an upcoming radio-ed good news. I am indulging in bleakness and with the lack of understanding to life, girls and love. It's a pain that smiles as it eats me inside out.

Girl cries twirls and whirls of the mind for now. A search for a better understanding of them and a wish for a crystal baller to tell me the ending. I'm tired from hanging on every word she said, but would letting go send me into a freefall to the deep unknown. My raging mind just wouldn't rest, it's like a sun that just won't set. Ever since schools started we have drowned our conversations, the much laughs and meet ups we had seems so far away now. I only have the that little picture memories of what used to be and now I die to what is happening. At times I really want to know the ending, at the same time I don't want to hear it. A play titled, "King of Contradiction", starring Sean as the lead actor. Feed me the happy pill, I seriously need to see some light in this love game for two. Yes people, do leave a tag, as I want to see who is still reads in a way. thanks

I'll say goodnight world... for now.

2007-12-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ok somebody kill me now

The flashy light and pumping music is killing me slowly. Saving my last dance for the night wasn't much used, as you danced with someone else. I'm sorry for even bothering to crash your post prom party, but seeing you in another guys arms just blows me away. My high spirits went to zilch in an instant. Good music went to waste as my mood wasn't in the groove. I can't sleep and nothing can save me now. Tears free flow yet my heart remains dry. I hate myself for keeping false hopes of you and me, now I live in regret. Sorry Akarad for spoiling your night and thanks for being there for me.

2007-11-30T17:27:00.000+08:00

Sky High Night

Ahh woke up with a slight headache, I was close to drunk last night so I guess I had the lil hangover nonsense. I have to say that I really enjoyed myself in a way, thought half the time I was trying to control my movement. Saw a few familiar faces, mostly from my primary school. After last night, I felt that I should really just enjoy myself and not think too much over trying to get a sweet girl. Maybe in my game of fun and seek, I find the chosen one. We'll just see how things goes as somethings I can't control.

Sorry about today's post, I don't feel like in the right mood to have fun with blogging. Just want to be direct and clear, for my shout out for my declining and draining emotions. I really wished that I would have it sorted out as soon as possible. It's a leech that never fails to suck the sun away from my day, bringing in rain and grey skies. All that I could do is question myself, what if? if only? why?. Thanks people for the comments on my new haircut though. Ahh the morning gym sessions tomorrow and heavy thoughts, alright goodnight world...

2007-11-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

Buy my story

Very welcome to yet another post from the one and only, Sean! Yea it's the monday blues, like literally. I slit my wrist today, just to know that I am alive! It felt good. Wahahha kidding, cutting my wrist is like smoking to me, something that I will never do or even try. So throw your hands up in the sky if you don't smoke or slit your wrist. Ahh monday, the start of a week and nobody really likes it. Remembering the school days that I used to dragged myself to school, especially on mondays. Like the great weekend was soon drained away by the thought of seeing your teachers and doing work for another week. As for me now that I have nothing to do, I drag myself trying to find a job to keep me entertained and so I can fulfill my shopping needs. It's a need that most guys don't really bother to keep, which leads to the poor dress up you see on the street at times. Energie! the brand which I planned to invest in other than Ted Baker. It's an expensive investment but it's way better than topshop, PMK, flesh imp, newbie. (No offence, but this is just a piece of my mind.) I am starting to get used to my hairstyle, to be honest I felt it was weird initially, but as the days go by I feel that it is a look that I can carry off, correct me if I am wrong.

Here we go again on this carousel ride. Thoughts of you fills the air and love just walked out the room. It's a common scene in a failing love saga. All I can do now is hope for a better tomorrow and wish something would just shine. I can't see light, but in time in time, I hope... Well please comment about my new hairstyle! Would like feedbacks thanks. goodnight world...

2007-11-25T18:40:00.000+08:00

What else can I say, I got bored.

Hello people, at least for today the sun was shining. A good morning weather report brought a end to my past hours misery. The oversleeps were my gain in energy for the crazy day ahead. Waking up at 10.30am to get ready for a hair cut. I wanted to end the same o same o hair that I peek as I walk pass the mirror everyday. My initial intentions were to cut it short kinda like Nate from Gossip Girl if you watch it, but something happen at the hairdressers and hahaha I decided to go wacky. Alright other than the late morning visits to the hairdressers, I actually went you with Akarad's brother and his friends. I mean come on me going out with sec 2 kids? I felt responsible if anything happened in a way. I admit I was pessimistic about this outing, thought it would be another childish outing where I put my face on the line. Turns out it was alot better than I thought it would be. A good bonding with my everyday gaming cliques I have to say. We caught the movie Enchanted today. A really good show, entertaining, humourous and thrilling. I'll do the rate for this movie, hmmm 3.8 out of 5. I thought the rate void was cause by the ending. Anyway there she goes, smsing me which caught me off guard. I thought I was suppose to be dead in her eye? Have I been revived? Are you having second thoughts about me?. With the inadequacy of knowledge of your mind keeps me hanging on. Is this wait worth? Am I doing the right thing? Question after questions, Will I get sleep with all the disarray thought clouding my mind. A faded pictures lies beneath it all. goodnight world... and give me your comments of my new hair cut.

2007-11-24T19:08:00.000+08:00

It's Reality

The bad aura lingers in my presence, I am starting to hate myself in a way. Guess if that ever happens, I can't love others anymore. The simple logic of love yourself in order to love others takes the center stage. My smiles and laughs masked a dolorific heart, delaying misery in every way possible. Seriously, what happen? the sudden change of tone in your messages took me aback. It's like where is the love? It was the perfect fairytale when I first met you and the coversations amounted to a level of certain closeness, each message left a scent of you, keeping me in your trail. Soon enough we met up for a study time, it was my pleasure and my heart was beating. I could feel each pound expressing excitement yet nervousness upon seeing you. You were the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, but now heaven seems so far away. The rewind in memories, shatters my heart to see what we are today. I can only stare into space and wonder what went wrong. Was it something I said? something I did? and you just won't speak. Both parties with words left unsaid only aids the coldness between us. My wish isn't for the love chatters we once had, but more of clarity and transparency between us. You haunt my nights, sending my thought to run wild on a treadmill, it just goes on and on. What will drown my misery, where's the joy which once overwhelmed me. The thrills and suspense dies out now, I'm dead in your eyes lets put it that way. Questions free flows through my head, endless waves of wistful emotions drags through the day. I know this is a depressing post but it's something that just have to come out before I divert my grief to physical pain. Once again, my happiness was shortlived and a melancholy beats plays in my radio. Afterall I've said, I still bet you're not even reading this post, as you just simply don't give a damm. goodnight world...

2007-11-22T09:24:00.000+08:00

10 days late

Ahh the ending of exams got me all too excited till blogging didn't exist in my head till now. I know I am running late for this post but job finding and a new addict were the delaying factors. Not a sounding excuse but it's true, my day is basically stolen by hellgate, it overwhelms my hours and permeats the day. Getting heavily involved in the cyberworld was a method I adopted to fight my losing war on the love battlefield. Picture the scene of where a soldier gets a rocket hits him in his face, yea that's me. Girls kicked my ass badly leaving me oblivious to what I did wrong or said. Some girls are sadists, they love to see a crash and burn tragedy, but they don't wait for it to happen, they choreograph this tragedy, executing the killer moves on me. I am pissed but yet confused, why do I get crap from different sources yet I am not allowed to fight back as it isn't being a gentleman. Feed on my misery and tear me apart, haunt my night and I live in regret. Each passing hour is an accumulation of emotional garbage which just stores up eating me inside out. It the perfect setting for a break down. I'm not even sure if there are readers now, but I have no where else to turn to share this piece of my mind other than to blog this love/hate portrait. I wish something will turn the table of my drastic and backstabbing days. I tried so hard to be nice, yet you play me round, a harden heart finds it difficult to trust. I'm off in search of a long with rainbows and butterflies. Paint my town red please, it's black.

2007-11-01T00:15:00.000+08:00

5 stars day

Ahh the time of the year where I get overrated for a day and back to normal for rest of the year. The sudden emphasis on me worked like andrenaline rush of joy permeating me. If only such days were more often, but I guess I'll enjoy this very day ; my birthday =). Yea this post was suppose to be on the 28th of october(my birthday) but the overwhelming of textbook and revising took over the days. The O levels I say have been pretty good for me, but I just hope that this feeling I am having, isn't an ode of false hopes. Well I realised 2 things though, that I need a haircut and go for some smiling classes. I can't smile for nuts, maybe it's my poor history of wanting to be in photos. The inadequacy of photo taking comes into play now, oh well...

Despite the fact of me lacking that perfect smile, I shall not deprive my viewers of photos from that day. It wasn't all but it was the "rather better" ones. Dammit someone please teach me what a smile means. I need that just enough education in order to perform, but till then I lack that sufficent amount. Alright I wished I could brag about my day but the call from the physics textbook seems to be eating into me. Hope you like the pics (which I think you don't). Take care peeps. Will be posting more frequently after my O levels. Smile for the day =)

Big Dan and I

Rewetting of my dryness (my lips)
--

That click five missing 1 though
--

I believe you can tell who is or not taking exams...
--

You got that right, the exam fever got the better of us

2007-10-28T13:00:00.000+08:00

These days...

Yea just if you all had been wondering, I'm doing alright with the O levels. Despite the crazy work rate I try so hard to give during the O level, thoughts still free flow around the love topic. Well there have been two songs that sang it's way through my heart as it speaks exactly on how I feel. So hope you like the songs.

2007-10-21T16:09:00.000+08:00

Time capsule

Haha saturday morning needs to learn a new trick or two. The constant rain is predictable now. Ohh well, the whines and wasted time overlooked the morning for me, only afternoon was the start of the thriller build up. The mad study groupie of 2 crashed my house and got down to work. I have to say the morning after study plans was much better than the wake up call to the rain. Touching on science again, never fails to make me happy, I wonder why? studying and joy never worked hand in hand before, but now that it is I'll just tag with the flow. This unpredictable change maybe a good starting vibe from the bad results from last year.

The evening pretty much overwhelmed my day, it was going back in time as we met up after like 6 years? Yea it's one of those primary school friends outing. I played as a pessimist for a while though, passing thought of the silent outing due to the 6 years void we had. Well my thoughts and the outing were perfect strangers, it was a crazy time of laughing and catching up. The parting years didn't seemed to have cause the silent barrier between us. I was like a rusty engine, need a few kickstarts before I starting letting the jokes out of the bag haha. This outing took place around the city hall area, etc marina, raffles city and esplanade. Thanks to Zhong Gui who planned and brought a camera for today. The picture memory remains priceless and the friendship we all kept was something I underrated. A short scene a good time and simple dressing was worth it. I'm glad I decided to go for this. =)

My photo dedication to the day will speak pretty much of what 6 years did to us.... nothing!

2007-10-20T16:25:00.000+08:00

Lone star record.

Sorry for this late post, studying have been getting the better of me these days. I seemed to have a good chemistry with chemistry. The efforts found it's jovial results. If only my love search was like my efforts, where both end meets. The lacking good vibes have stumbled me every now and then, my hide and seek with the vacant affair. I see that angel in a bad disguise once again, the inner and outer beauty tells the same story. If only she knew it was me who attentions is in her hands, the daily wish pills of being everything you wanted didn't seem to work. The only thing that worked would be the obnoxious side effects, of vapid hours and dolorific thoughts. Life in a empty town would best describe my current state, but I wouldn't want the world to see me, they could barely comprehend me. Well the ever changing seasons and retaining self never seems to tally, only the weathered emotions floats well with the deterioration seasons. Probably a better tomorrow is what I seek? the answers weren't meant for my story of Big solitude, Small talks. Alright football is on tomorrow so yea an early night for me. goodnight world...

2007-10-16T07:00:00.000+08:00

That 180º turn

Love was a boomerang I threw a few weeks ago and now I guess it returned. Upon it's return this time it didn't spell doom like the other times but I feel glad in a way. Well the misleads and questions came about as I decide to watch from the sidelines, but now I guess it's time for me to take the stage. That momentary sideline watch aided on my what I really want theme. Sidelining got me feeling that I threw love away, but I guess it was just place in a 2 weeks time capsule. Now with more at stake I still conceed, as my pin-fall silence weeks was already stabbing me. Whatever it takes, rain or shine, hill or mountain, my direction is laid out in front of me, now it's just adding the colours to this picture. =) here I come.

My mighty love cries and a broken heart will remain subtle due to some crappy countdown. Yea doomsday clock ticks away, but at least in the midst of doomsday there's a day for butterflies and rainbows to shine. 28th october will mark that day, a day for celebration before the sun rises the next day. A good vibe among the bad omen, like an unbrella to the rain. Alright have I not spell it out? my brithday in other words. psshh! was it that hard? I still want my gucci hand purse, thanks people =) much love from the man himself, Sean. Paint your canvas of love and with happy paintbrushes for this day. Till that day comes, neverfailing of the impending doom leads my hours. I just can't wait for this to be all over, in everyway possible. Alright my afternoon post ends here, maybe one coming up later? We'll see =)

2007-10-14T16:14:00.000+08:00

Life In Fairytale motion

I know there were request for more pictures, but I'm sorry but having to put that on hold at the moment. Still finding the artistic side of me to produce a good photo. Well I want to dedicate a song to me and the people who loves this blog. Heard Fairy tales and castle by lifehouse? A simple song which speaks much on how I seem to have my life run. So here goes =)

he says he looks in the mirror

and he can't tell anymore who he really is

and who they believe him to be

and he says he walks a thin line between what is and what could be

and he's getting closer to

something he can't understand

cause there's a crack in his plastic crown

and his throne of ice is melting

he climbed his ladder there was nothing there

now it's a long way down

cause on and on and on he goes

dancing on the grave

of what he thought was still alive

and on and on and on he goes

dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

he says his head is

filled with cartoons and fairy tales

and he's trapped inside a dungeon of dolls

with smiles on their faces

he's built a pretty cage his show's on a beautiful stage

with candy coated prison bars and chains that look like jewelry

cause he lives inside of fairy tales and castles

now and there's room inside for false expectations and illusions

never failing to see my life mirrored to this song. My joys are illusions I guessed. =/ goodnight world...

2007-10-12T17:30:00.000+08:00

Finding joy in the wrong places

Ahhh what a day to have, nope ain't no bad vibe taggin' he day. What's up with this clicking sound of slight rap crap. Well As I am typing this post, my jukebox is on replay to the one beat of Good Life by Kayne West. So people if I got your sights, don't feel the frights, if you are you're tight yea yea. Haha today would be titled Late but there ain't no rush, due to the fact of waking up at 12 noon but it was a stay home. Chilling out at my crib with the company of good music and starfilling drinks. Like popping champange on a plane, having those intriguing conversations with clinging glasses at the background. People, welcome to the good life. I reckon the indulging joy actually comes from my thoughts ain't revolving around a little princess. Not that I thrown the piece of you away, but I let other things join in creating a party in da mind. I still keep you close to me, with a little other things =). Can't wait to break free from the shackle from O levels, but yet at the same time I want to do well. I feel so unprepared and just wish time would just pause, hold for the prince. Experiences from both worlds of the up and downs of single/available life got me thinking, why drag myself down while I should be enjoying my days with cracking booze and high end shopping (Ted Baker). Ladies let me know when you like me, then we'll see what nature does alright? For now throw you hands up into the sky, I go- go for mine, I got to shine~ I'm good. Hmmm, I wonder now, was I ever like by anyone before? Not that I could and might do anything about it though but it would be nice to know. =). Some say the best things in life are free, well my love is free but some don't want my best thing. Cheap talks but action rocks, so pull up your socks and watch the clock go tick-tock. *throw your hands into the sky* We're good! smile for the night nigga' , this is Sean signing out hope you enjoy this post, goodnight world... (hello good life)

DO WATCH! =)

2007-10-11T17:00:00.000+08:00

Don't take it to heart

Ahh, what a day to be in right people? the maddening sunshine with it's trademark of still winds seem to have overwhelm the afternoon. However, despite the over tanning I got, it was a good day. A decision to my vapid love motion picture had arise to a letting nature takes it course theme. For now I should learn the basics of earning contentment over the little things that I get and do. =) Smile peeps, for the host is. Today's headlines would be house visitation, summary of content would be just to bring a smile to an injured friend. A overwhelming sun for the afternoon never stop his advance to, Miss Sherlyn Wong's house. Sherlyn make quick steps on the overhead bridge in order to catch a bus she was about to miss, but her burst of energy was soon turned to tears. She tore her knee ligament as she proceeded down the step, leaving her all teary sitting by the step. Sean couldn't leave a friend holding a grudge to the days ahead so he picked up his bag and headed to Bedok. To cut this long story short, his effort was paid off with a great smile from his friend, Sherlyn. He left his day by saying, " She thanked me for the effort, I thanked her for the opportunity to bless a friend.".

Ohh finally a good news to read about right? As compared to the cold war in love, or life or food we face from day to day. The war of our time seem to have a bigger impact on the hearts, with only having time to aid the damage. Our innocent fragments gets filled up with smoke, only soon leaving us to play a supporting role of the next big guilt hit. People stay fat free and guilt free, that way a smile will simply work it's way up through your spine. Merriment expressions and indulging smiles is something I have yet to obtain. Make my exit from this masquerade, and make transparent visitations to the ones I hold so dear.

So little time so much to do, I rather spend my time with... shopping at Ted Baker. The lyrical ammendments were dedicated to my upcoming exams (O levels) and my love for Ted Baker. Just a shout out: People if you still wonder what Ted Baker is, head down to Takashimaya or Vivo, there you will find true fashion. In Ted We Trust. Alright back to reality to roads and highways to the O levels. It's so unfashionable from the way it enters my fly high thoughts. I wish I was a crystal-baller, I want to know how it ends, now that would be sweet. I'll caption the O levels as the 'next big thing' and my study time 'dodgy'. Barely getting anything covered these days, I am starting to see the dark cloud of impending doom hovering above my life tale. Alright, a confidence still in search and a metrosexual in the making. I'll dedicate some photos for the day =) smile people, rebel against O level.

let the good times roll. goodnight world...

2007-10-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

Progress zero

Surely I'm on a carousel, and it's one doloring ride. My deprive of joy from this sick cycle carousel, have made me lose hope in this relationship I tried building. Ooo well, the deteriorating communication tumbles my building blocks, never failing to leave an undesirable stain on my velvet heart. I guess my understanding about girls would have to be subtitled due to my inadequacy of knowledge over the topic, though of which I hold so dear. I guess my love story in a contradiction to all who reads it or watch it, but always leads to the not so happy ending. The incomplete fairytale and forced joy are the main events of my life story. Will all this ever come to an end? Will someone stop this chain reaction of bleakness? Only time and God will tell, so I guess I'll have to face the lonely hours again. An unending flow of questions floods the troubled mind, will he find peace again? his purpose? his joy? once again I am place on a thin line of what might and what is. I can't stand up, but yet I can't fall down, and the lacking decision and the overdued emotions plays the one sided see-saw. Some say, look on the bright side of life, yea alright let's try that. Hmm, ohh at least my love life have always been consistant, despite of it always leaving me empty. I find similarities in love and a stalk of rose, you work your way up the thorny path for something beautiful. I am honestly drained and hope to come to a decision tomorrow. A dreadful post tagged with my good night wishes. goodnight world...

2007-10-09T17:04:00.000+08:00

Plan B

Hey everyone, sorry about leaving you all hanging if you were waiting for the next post. I apologise for all the thoughts that my blog was consider to be dead. Nah, it just got frozen in time for all the good cause. The time void was filled with straightening of raging emotions and the plans of life. The upcoming O levels never fails to haunt me, leaving a trail of the embarrassment at the fact of me retaking it. It definitely was a struggle playing in my mind constantly.

Alright enough of the O levels, it only rings bad omen. Well taking the break from blogging kind of got me up and then back down so yea I'm here to flourish my emptiness, ironic as it sounds? At least I'll head to bed with something less on my mind to think about. So here I go with my flamboyancy of a doloring paint job. As we all know the major exams are coming but it isn't only just the O's which brings me down, the A's affects me in it's certain way. The haunting O's and the hurting A's seem to make its way to get the best of me. I know I know that people get all geeky at the sound of the nearing exams, but you always say you're not really studying, so what's with the downfall in our communication? I get by each day hoping for the very single reply and it never fails to caption 'false' under my hopes. The vapid hours I wait on my phone, giving it a constant checkup, but it always leaves me hanging. With such bleakness playing eclipse, it never fails the flash thought of giving up to go by every now and then. But by doing so, will it make or break me? Waiting now seems to be my daily routine, but it is soon to be just another word similar to emptiness. My famous love war between heart versus mind reenacts, ohh no the replay of downcasting emotions leads to a crash and burn tragedy. To be enthalled by a one sided love isn't the best option, it a walk on morbidville's side walk. Yea, the town decorated with grey skies and black buildings, the other colour you would find would be the blues of the locals emotions. A radio broadcast of various melancholy hits. If there was ever such a town, judging from my emotion range, I would be nominated for president for morbidville. Possibilities and hopes seems to be withering with each passing day. The lack of colour in the hours and the fading minutes eats me.

Other than my "little" emotion drive, I heart Ted Baker. I want to be a metrosexual, the inbetween of man and gay. For the traditional people would simply make fun of me, but to hell to you I say for having such myopic view of dress style and probably you can't even pull off the look. Smile for the day people, I'm back to blogging as it keeps me from going insane. goodnight world...

2007-10-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

The well runs dry

No it's not that I lack of posting idea, but it is just too much is going on and I decided to take a break. Should be up and posting real soon I promise. Sorry for the disappointment people. I hope this does not make my blog unknown to you. Sorry peeps, take care. goodnight world...

2007-09-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

What went wrong...

Alright enough about myself, there is a certain thing I would like to say to special someone. Yes I do miss the times we were crazy and pass our hours like there was no one there. Each passing day just fade our relationship till it reaches a blur. Well, you made it easier to be me through the issued I faced. I never really had a friend like you to be there for me when I'm down, I never felt like I was someone special till I met you. My smiles these days I have to say are empty as compared to the ones you left me with. The quantity of my apologies can never match up to the quality of your heart. No get the clear people, I didn't break up with my girlfriend, this isn't about BGR, it's about my most important friend. I really hope you read this unless you've considered me to be another passer-by. I've changed? Yea, I surely did and I know, and I can never forgive myself for putting you up with all my emo crap, but thanks for being there. Now we speak in silence, and my words can't break through the silence. I'm not here to put up a show nor ask you to accept who I am but I would like to meet up and talk to you. I guess our controversy didn't really end, it just got swept under the mat. I'll leave today, by saying I'm sorry for all and thank you for putting up with me...

2007-09-27T17:00:00.000+08:00

Song Titles!

Day in day out we get on our day having a beat in our head, passing the long hours by plugging in your MP3. It's a common method we use in the 21st century, and the many songs that makes up our emotions, state of mind or even your day. Well this post about my day will be input song titles found in my itunes, just to spice things up. Hope you like it. Red = Song title!

A wake up call from the alarm got my day started, just yesterday I was indulging in your sweet smses. However, I'm facing the scorching sun from studying and I need your umbrella to shade me from this heat. These days studying is my main priority, just have to do it, I'm sounding just like NIKE. Anyway the lack of colour in studying seems to have made my hours captioned long. O levels seemed so far yet so near, it's like a doomsday clock ticking, haunting my nights! Attack is it's main aim. Somebody please bring the light into my vapid life, paint a rainbow, light up the sky. After a time of geek fright morning, gym training came with the afternoon. It was all good as it really took the best of me of it leaves me tattered and torn. Oh! gravity had surely done it's part, but all this training tags with my thoughts of have a nice figure =). Back to crazy dieting plans and runs! So stay away carb! Muscles here I come. Fight the villians as a underclass hero. Facebook have turned out to be pretty fun and got me flying high like a aeroplane. So people add me if you have not. No, it isn't a new game it is something like friendster, only more organised.

As my muscle aches, my heart acts too. A heart painted with the 7 shades of black sinks like the titanic. At least, today the doloring wasn't as strong as the other days. Blurry thoughts and addictive pain, while some might say the things I don't want to hear. Never I'll bleed it out, not literally though. Alright people farewell and goodnight. A little drained from the day.

PS: Thanks Fred for all =)

2007-09-26T16:25:00.000+08:00

All I want to do

Is to make you smile for these stormy days. The lengthy hours which makes your day, drains you and I worry. So I want to make you smile, because you simple reply made me SMILE! =). Hee My melancholy minutes turn to smiles in just a vibratation of my phone. Thanks =).

2007-09-25T16:15:00.000+08:00

The Beautiful Letdown

The paroramic view of my sadness is painted out onto shreds of my over written love letters. The solecism of love words sends a wrong signal to me, but then again the love maybe true. Once again, I'm left to face my midnight chatters companionless, be it msg or msn I feel like I am just talking to myself. Yea, it sucks to know that people just hate to reply me, at least Branda and Xian Hui did, so special thanks to Branda and Xian Hui for replying. The prosaic late hours isn't much of an appeal to me, and I once again seek felicity in just one special reply.

Besides my night dosage of bleakness, my day was pretty unique. Skipping to the afternoon, I was asked out by Fiona and Eugene, and I sure did had a great time. Our plans to get tickets to Chuck and Larry was a sinking ship, due to my inadequacy of meeting the age requirements. I'm 18 but only in a month and 3 days. We skittle and settle for premonition. We'll this is one movie where being late for, isn't the best option, which unfavorably happened to us. Reaching to the end, I manage to get the story which left me a little disturbed. It was a good story of a week closing down from both sides to wednesday. The cause of the wednesday tragedy remains unclear, but each passing day speaks about the build up and the aftermath of wednesday. I'll rate it 7.5/10, the shuffle of scenes and mind blowing emotions were the main stream to my rating. Thanks to Fiona and Eugene who saved me from my stay home plans and took the vapidness away. :)

Then again, this day ends with the undesirable common ending. Every night is a reenactment of my love request being terminated. Though it maybe a different play I act in, but the script and plot ends matches to the previous ones. A funeral march for love again. My love war, will you end? or has it just began? Whatever, I'll march on till I see the sun. goodnight world...

2007-09-24T16:32:00.000+08:00

Chasing time

Well, the pin-fall silence play as the golden pillow for my coffin. The uncertainty of your silence keeps me skeptical of the rainbow that I see of our relationship. I guess your simplest action takes the times two effect on me. I'm mesmerise of everything that you do, everything of you just seems to be beautiful, or was it just the flamboyant play? Make it or break it, a choice for your decision. Everything in my topsy turvy world seems to revolve around you, yea you got that right, I'm playing your game. The birds they sing for you, the sun it shines for you and I am a fool for you. You got me spellbounded baby. Each passing day turns me into a pessimist, and I hope that my pessimistic flashes never turns factual. Each pessimist thought is trailed with a line of excuses that helps keeps my balance on the thin line of fact or friction. The daily passing thoughts and love chats are the elements to my love scale. What is real and just a dream? well I'm off to bed now, goodnight world...

PS: Sorry for the late post people, but I have been really tired. Sorry once again take care all. Thanks for reading! more is to come

2007-09-21T17:30:00.000+08:00

The weather fallcast

Dolorous hours spelled out the day. All the walking and shopping was of sterling worth as it helps to numb the sorrows I brought upon myself. The painkiller minutes spent outside got me thinking of what will it be after all this joy and laughter ends, like misery delayed, put it all on hold. Your simple love would be the permanent bind to all this lurking desolation. The melancholy beat overwrites the jovial past of rainbow and butterflies which soon distant me from myself. A suffering which I chose, no one else to take the rap for me, blame it on me. I find myself lost in the world of up and downS. The ripple effects of questions after questions. I'll promise all this sad posting will be soon be long gone, but at the moment it works simply like good O'morphine. So people bare with me and go through these ordinary days, ordinary is a word we use to cover up the under achievement of the day. My consumption of hot tea speaks of the overrated melancholy I buy, yet knowing this fact just keeps me wanting more of it. An addiction of prolonged thoughts which forms a heart wanting more of you. You said you're facing the lack of rainbows from school and sleep, well I say I just want to be there for you. Let me play this role of bringing forth animated felicity to your stale and moulding days. If only, I knew all the right things to say, the appropriate custom that is to be offered for a sweet girl facing the unrealistic boredom/pain.

Well, despite the heavy thinking from the day, I still manage to catch a few wants from the day. I want a T-shirt from Ted Baker and a Gucci Hand Purse for men. I'll get the Ted Baker T-shirts soon, but for the Gucci goods will have to be delayed. I'm guessing it being at a $500+ worth rate. Save save for this pricey pride. Alright, I'll cut this gloomy story short, so goodnight world...

2007-09-20T17:30:00.000+08:00

Skin depth joy

The passing hours was a build up to eventually tear me down and now I'm back to the place where I inject dolor into myself. The bursting outrage of sadness and worries leaked outs as I try to contain it. The overflowing of thoughts that tags bad vibes, disturbs my sleep and now I'm left to sleep with one eye open. The sudden silence and without the 'undo' help option leaves me burdened. I'm currently drowning in love yet with pain, this shouldn't be happening, no please take it away! Joy and the good endings which were once the clothes of my heart soons numbs away, slowly withering and soon to fade. I'm running out of luck these days, but was there even a refill anyway? Words left unspoken leave a stab wound, and you do not see it. Each day, I lose myself in the indulging chatters and soon I'll be an unfamiliar face in the mirror, but I wouldn't mind losing myself if it eventually finds a place in your mind. I, too change myself just to stand alone in your eyes. Am I even in your vision or just like any of your daily passer-by. Am I just a cast in your play which you title, Perfect Strangers?

The days starts to reenact itself, the familiar days with an emotion script I know by heart. It's a scene I've acted over and over again, well may you please post me to a new scene where love and butterflies invades the stage. The common act of break ups and make ups shakles me to the ground of darkness. With a silence I keep from you, my eyes screams to be heard by you. The perfect ending was a swapped luggage scenario, but with an define intention. A bullet from hand to heart, an arrow from heart to head, leaves me barely bleeding but with a broken heart. Finding my grip now is vital, who am I to find support? somebody... save.. me....

goodnight world...

2007-09-19T15:24:00.000+08:00

That Voice within

That voice just sinks into my soul, instilling joy into me. Hello I'm back from crazy monday and early tuesday. Monday to me was rather crazy, the prelims kicked off, and what better opponents to face than english. The war which mainly feeds on verbs, descriptions and tenses, a war not for the weak hearted. English soon took an unfair advantage when, compo had 3 arguementative questions out of 5. It was heart-breaking, but I was left with no choice but to take the descriptive route. Hopes of doing well was reduced to just passing it. Well I guess the expectations and wants were similar to our childhood fantasies of being a super-hero. Soon after tuesday came, nothing much happen today honestly, the main event that saved me from the upcoming vapid hours was tagging my aunt to the airport as she leaves for London. Falling sick was the main reason to it's vapidness.

Indulge with star gazing activities, but it seems that the sky these day lack the starry appeal. It now dreads with dark fog hiding a bright moon. I miss the stars, each star would remind me of the good old days of how I got lost in my own created dream brought to reality. The calvin and hobbes play scene. I'm quite into photo editing now, but still ain't that good with it. So here are some that I liked. Well enjoy the photos as I head off to a place where dreams are real. goodnight world...

I always wanted to see the world...

Put out the heated dreams of being a fireman

2007-09-17T16:17:00.000+08:00

Introvert by nature

Words left unspoken turns into a beacon for hurt and pain. Finding a way to let you know, but for now I'll have to get twisted and tangled up with my comtemplations and resentments. Just want to take a little time off to thank, Fiona, for talking with me today. It was a morale booster talk and made it clear that my logic about girls illogical. Yet despite the talk, hopes and expectations still manipulates a part of me. Well prelims fires off tomorrow and even for my studies I face the same word from love, dead. goodnight world...

2007-09-16T03:13:00.000+08:00

Walking the tight-rope

Ohhh, my I need to register myself into a rehab center for my love issues. Love issues boomerang itself back hitting hard on my joy and peace. The versatile pain that comes at all directions, doing some reflection only sights more flaws that wounds me. Is it just me? or the process of love had just found it's way into unsolve mystery cases. Love is kept close to my heart but remain unknown to the people around and even I am unfamiliar to the face of love. A downfall I hope not to meet, a love I hope to seek. It's like I'm a on train but there's no one at the helm, just hoping things steers me to safety and not ending up in a crash and burn wreckage. Surely your senses touches a little of this love I offered, feel my heart. It beat/bleeds for you. I don't want to end facing cheap regrets and having to get all wishy and washy as I try to wipe off a permanant stain. I've realised that I am walking a thin line between what is and things hoped for. Afterall, you settle for sky-line faded blue, but I hope you'll settle this love I have for you. goodnight world...

2007-09-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

Friends forever? My a**

Times took a huge leap and now we're faced with the problem of 2007. Yes, I do believe in friends forever, but there must have a certain understanding between one another. In any relationship be it friendship or BGR controversies will arise as not everyone will think the same always. But it is how both parties talk things out and understand and yes change for the better. Being stagnant with changes will not only create more friction but it just makes you a ticking time bomb and just makes people avoid you. Ok ok enough of this story, thinking about the fall out of good friends make me sick. Before I end this heart breaking story, I just want to let my good friends that I will do anything to keep this friendship going smooth. If there is anything that might cause you to think twice about me, let me know and we will talk things out. I know some of my bad points and I am trying hard to fight it. Mood swings seems to have found a spot in my heart. It's a weed I'm trying to root out.

Ahh the thought of it all gives me the chills of losing another friend. Seasons change but people don't, well don't pretend you ever forget about me. I'm a guy with a not so kick ass attitude and I have a soft spot for the ladies in my life. Always abide to my one main rule of never to hurt a lady, as it is very ungentlemanly in every way. I get led easily by the opposite crowd honestly, so baby don't phunk with my heart please, you won't fight fair. The hindering disadvantage that I give myself, only feeds the prophesy of my upcoming book of 'The Fall of Sean'. Let's just hope that all these was just a mere rumor out of the many others about me.

I, honestly am getting lost in my own post. I myself ain't sure about what message I am trying to broadcast, so whatever comes to you just take it yea. The lacking love days. It seemed that today wasn't flooded with much love as yesterday but hey what am I to say I just hope that everything is alright between us. Listening to inevitable love songs was a method I picked up in fighting the losing wars of overthinking that things just got worst between us. Hitting the cyberworld of my daily program of games being entertainment, didn't add a single bit of making me feel better. I have to work out a formula to solve this evolving thoughts which overwhelms to kill me. A chapter which was written half-way and hopes of a good ending captions my mind. I miss the serenity of days that got me feeling that I was a superhero, and no super villian could stop me from saving the world I hold so dearly, myself. Days of such seems to be far beyond the horizon and super villian, Love, fights unfairly. Blind folding me and getting the best of me in every direction. If I'm superman, Love would be my kryptonite and she would be Love's sidekick. Oh no, soon Sean finds himself love with his enemy's sidekick. What will become of him and how will super Sean continue on his battle with Super Villian Love, you'll find out in the next episode of Life, Love and Why. goodnight world...

2007-09-14T18:12:00.000+08:00

Got it from your mama?

I believe by now most of you heard the song by Will. I .Am - I got it from my mama. A song refering to the ladies we classify as, 'H.O.T'. With it's catchy beat it get me all fueled up to hit the dance floor.

Woke up at 6.10 am today, for a delivery of sunshine to a special person via sms. Haha I know how it feels having to fight the early morning of a raging war of sleep and alarm clocks. The disturbing morning noise gets us in the wrong mood, like the subtle genesis of a raging tempest in us. Ahh hardly we find joy in the morning, like we are forced to the stage a uninspiring scene. The dreadful morning we face at the start of each new day, where the only thing on our minds are hoping for vapidness to stay out for the rest of the day.

A melody constantly plays under my subconscienceness, a song for the start of something beautiful arises. Soon I find myself wrapped with the lyrics, leaving me confine with joy. I'm happy for the day. It was filled with great communications, with all the right people. It's the simple things and keeps me up. I feel I can just jump out of my window and start flying. Haha I caught the show Who wants to be a superhero today. It got me debating with myself about the fact on whether I should look up to these people or look down on them. I mean the contestants seemed to have not moved a step up maturity ever since first grade. The sugar coated dreams of the 3 wishes and making one wish that you will have some super powers. If I really could have a super power, I would love to have teleportation. I'll name myself, neverlate again hero. I'll prevent the bad impression on a first date of being late. Well looks like I got it all worked out, so if this show ever comes out, may the world prepare for the creation of Never Late Again Man. Saving the world from misunderstanding and punishment for being late. My super villians will have to be the high expectations girlfriends and teachers.

Well upon receive the last msg from you, it sure spark a wanting to just run away with you to loversville. I just hope you're feeling the same way I do. We'll make our great escape with no fact or friction or storyline to work out. A melody plays in my subconsciousness bringing all joy to me, soon to find the lyrics wrapping my heart confining me with love you left me with. I won't fight back on this one, it may not be true on how I am feeling, but I won't give it up. I'm happy! so goodnight world...

2007-09-13T05:00:00.001+08:00

Saving last dance

Well, today was much better upon receiving a msg from you this morning. Kinda actually made me all better. Though I still wish that if we met in a different place, I wouldn't have to allow certain controversies to toy with me, and the whole idea of "the big lie" being the title of our relation. The jester's song for the day was hero-heroine by Boy like Girls. The beautified lyrics speaks in line with the little excited happiness you're tapping me with. I am just hoping things will just turn out all good. I am fighting with myself daily, a war of mind vs. heart, reality vs. things hoped for. I feel like a hero, and you're my heroine! Just take a moment out to introduce to people the band Boy Like Girls. A wonderful band with songs of a precise love dictionary. It speaks the heart of falling in love, the crazy things we would do when we are silly and in love. I think I am just silly and in love? It's a process I'm willing to go through even if it means putting my heart out on display with lurking dangers that might just stab me. Some people are against my idea, or they try to warn me. I know if I fall from this, it ain't going to be just 10 storeys, it going to be a plunging from way higher. Don't hate me please people.

I find peace in the love I am giving. Took time off today to head down to Orchard to add thing into my shopping basket. Found a shirt from Ted Baker. It was a stunning brown shirt with a poem of flower buds scattered on the shirt. At the cost of $249, it got me thinking. Well since my aunt is going to London this coming monday, I asked her to get it for me from London with hopes of it being cheaper. It should be as Ted Baker originated from London. Can't wait to wear that shirt. Now I am thinking of the colour pants that I should be looking for. Excited over the fact that I'm getting a pretty shirt. =) I love the pretty shirts, flower power I guess.

The lovey dovey lane winds around a beating heart at the same rhythm as yours. The constant overthinking gets me wanting you more and I'm addicted. Your little actions and words takes a times two effect and it just erases all dark clouds. Constantly catching me off guard and I get my head over the cloud as thought you of flow pass my mind. A perfect story of Romeo and Juilet. Flashbacks just got me all smiling and wish for a pause on time. Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?

goodnight world...

2007-09-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

Is empathy just game for two?

Good Charlotte - Where would we be now. (Click play below)

I smile, you laugh, I look away

I sigh, you ask me why, I say,

It's ok and I am just feeling' down

Your hand on mine I hear the words

If only love had found us first,

Our lives they would be different, oh

So I stand and wait, I am just a man, oh

Where would we be now baby,

If we found each other first,

Where would we be now baby,

And now I must confess, that I'm a sinking ship

And I'm anchored by the weight of my heart

Cause it's filled with these feelings

But I keep my true thoughts locked, beside my hearts black box

And it won't be found, it won't survive through the smoke or the wreckage

So I crash and burn, I got a lot of things to learn, oh

Where would we be now baby,

If we found each other first

What would you do now darling,

If I said these simple words

I'll wait, I'll wait

As long as you want

But where would we be now baby

I'll wait, I'll wait

Where would we be now baby,

If we found each other first

What would you do now darling,

If I said these simple words

I'll wait, I'll wait

As long as you want

But where would we be now baby

I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait

This is the song that really speaks how I am feeling now. I wished that it was another place that we met. Enthralled by thoughts of a new beginning, I feel so lost. Well, I'm sorry if you don't return the feelings, but this is just the way (my love is) for you. It's hard to find another of you. It's true. Guess you won't be reading this as you are oblivious about this blog. The red for the lyrics are the main parts which speaks along with my heart. Really I know there are people out there praying and hoping that I would drop the subject and live on. The excruciating game of, cat and mouse leads on. A fling? haha well I'm not the kind of guy who goes in between love. Either up or down, love is clear not blurred. If only love was what found us first, all the "if only" rages my mind into a disarray scene of life and love and why. I going down just like Johnny Cash, what they call it? crash and burn. A windy road which at all cause will steer me into the deep end of the river after falling like a shooting star plunging into ocean's deep.

If only if only...

2007-09-10T15:23:00.000+08:00

Tripping on my concern

Just like what good charlotte sang, everybody put up your hands and say, "I don't want to be in love, I don't want to be in love." At times we tend to overthink situation cause an unwanted fire to start. Assumptions that drives in a circle then crashes to kill you. Today, kinda made me hope for a time machine to and go back to the time where I overthought things, and said something that might have strain the friendship, from hero to zero in one sms. It feels like crap literally, the thought of losing the beginning period of a beautiful friendship haunts me each passing minute. Am I to be blamed for being too innocent, thinking that if you treat the world good if will return the favour, or that the world wouldn't toy with feelings and play love as a game. Well don't you know that misery is my company and it comes looking for me day in and day out. It goes away giving me a hope which I depended on to take me to the good days, but crashes it by taking the return visit. The visit of the misery-in-laws.

I now stare blank on a phone with no replies, though a constant check up on it for the hoped for reply, but up to now there isn't any. I kinda wished I didn't get myself in all this fixed actually, but I get myself confuse with my feeling and reality. Face the fact Sean, love wasn't even in the room that day. It was just the company of lust, false hope and fun. I hope my one wrong liner will be overwritten by the other good ones. Crap no one here has a clue on how I'm feeling, happiness is a face that does not look good on me. Being poetic about my overloved sadness isn't the best idea, but it at the very least gets me lifted for a second or two. I just hoped for a bright morning with a reply, due to the reason I long-hoped actually happened. Well today was many people birthday, I'll just try to keep my sadness alive and watch you happy people live your life. I would try to learn a thing or two from you.

After all I've typed, a reply just came in. A good one, and now I think I just got everyone confused with my feelings now. I'm better now. Sorry for worrying caused. Well take care peeps, will be working tomorrow goodnight world...

2007-09-08T14:40:00.000+08:00

Late nights/Early mornings

Haha nono people I'm not leaving my blog, I barely just got here. Well the past 2 night kinda took a step into the action movie set. The late night sneak outs sparked an excitement which was brought forward to venues I visited at the late night hours. Yes common places for the 17 year olds would be lan shop? prata house? a drive around in your older friends car? how about doing what 18 year olds do? "I'll head to zouk" was how wednesday went for me. The logical sense of me using another friend's I/C to give me a glimmer hope to join in the dancing and loud music just gave a the thrills. Yes yes the little thrills of life, unlesss you are driving 200km/h on the highway you'll just get thrill, for the word little? just fades away. It's been a while since I stepped back into a club. Who could deny the pretty ones that just float pass you leaving you with just their flamboyant essences. Had a great time despite having to lose a friend due to the overdosage of alcohol, but at least his cousin was there to get him home safe and sound. Partied my night away with a pretty one while getting constantly tease by my tags. All the partying help with the dilution of my concentration of hope and love. I guess I'm feeling much better after the night =). Won't mention names as privacy is important and I happy with my dance partner x).

Moving on to the day after all the hard drinking and getting high as the music took control. I woke up fresh but wished that last night didn't end. If only it could go one for just a while longer or the clock would just stop ticking. The pounding beat got me all smiling despite the terrible wake up calls and bad sunshine. I kinda went through the day getting lost of previous night, and I kinda like how it felt. Well, as for me, my every good turn will just end with me crashing into river of saddness and bad news. Painkiller and morphine that aids the flesh and not my heart, but well it might just take some of the physical pain I do to myself. We relate to each other liek cat and mouse, I thought things would just turn out fine but I ended up with a friend for 3 hours and then we caption ourselves as total strangers. I guess it was just a good painting of hope and expectation burned with the toying plot. I guess I only have myself to blame, to think that the world out there was just filled with butterflies and sugarcoated rainbows. Well Smashing Pumpkins sure got something right, THE WORLD IS A VAMPIRE! Yea it is a sad truth that lies hidden behind our innocent behaviour. It's dead true. Other than draining myself with thought of you, I spent the rest of the day with my good friends at the airport. Sending a friend off who I hardly met honestly wasn't the main frame for me winding to the airport. I just wanted to spend time with my friends who were going and they consist of Jun Jie, Akarad, Limlin and Kit. Good friends are hard to come by so guys and girl, you rock my socks =).

Finally as for today being friday, well thank God it's friday and I still can't get over wednesday and thursday. It digusting to know that I blinded by my love fairytale, where it turns out to be all just a dream and I'm sent back straight to reality. Cell today was great, with the holding of movie night with the cells combine. Watch a film titled, Amazing Grace. A show about a man who dedicated his whole life, making a history in the world, fighting for the abolishment of slave trade. With loads and I mean loads of controversies, it gave the story a lil more meaning to being persistant and giving your all for God's plan.

Well, I hope I have not lose the viewers interest, if you feel so do let me know alright people. I'll try my best to make the changes for the better and make you feel more at home. Unless you are asking me to add singlish to my blog, that I can't consider but other than that I will try. Smile for the day. goodnight world...

2007-09-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

Poker Face

A train of thoughts just zoomed pass me and was soon out of sight. I couldn't help but to get people to call my bluff with my emotions. Ever played poker? It's a story about hiding your expression well enough so you extend your chance of winning. Well I feel I do that too at times, when it comes to my emotions. When playing masquerade seems to be my way of introducing myself, before you meet the real me. Sick seems to be my watchword now and I seem to be getting hit by it at every angle.

Well, the ignorance I get from you seems to be haunting my nights. I can't be losing sleep over this, but it out of my reach to decide. Restless nights and peaceful mornings seems to be my daily routine. Why do the thoughts have to take the night ride? Isn't there like a midnight charge? Rich thoughts draws the endless circle in my head, causing it to cloud peace and sleep away. All will this end it, or it just goes on and on, over and over and over again. Well sorry people, I'm really sick =(. I think I'll try to rest now. goodnight world...

2007-09-04T02:54:00.000+08:00

The overdued stain remains

The jukebox plays a familiar beat that got me grooving in it's rhythm. Well it just goes to show that the day was filled with rainbows and butterflies. Passing hours of uncertain follow ups kept me in suspense. I just could reckon the day ahead, but at least the good omen was a little something I could use. Well, woke up to the sound of loud music from my brother's laptop. Wasn't the best or happiest wake up scene, but it worked though it was uncalled for. I stumbled around the house to do my morning matters, before I kick back in my chair and enjoy a cup of love steaming coffee over 'Who's line is it anyway'. All the joy and laughter delayed thought of the fact that I was ill with flu and cough.

Cutting my day short, good 'O' friends made the best of it. Conversing about fitness and the voided time brought back that special bond we use to get everytime we are together. Coming to think about it, I can't believe that secondary school life is long gone and primary school seemed to be ancient. Did a few parody of times in the secondary school years that got us intense with laughter. It's a sweet understanding of friends for life. Though our busy schedule may keep up apart or out of sight, but a stain mark still indicate that we once were friends. So my conclusion, friends are like ink blops. The closer the friendship, the bigger the ink blop stains your shirt, and it's stain shows a good/bad past. Cut out the patch where the stain was left? then you will find yourself other friend to stitch back the blank. Quite a cute way of phrasing the word 'friends'.

The haunting emotions didn't seem to have found a parking spot in my heart today. The area was cleared for landing at joy, peace and laughter airport. I do believe that more are to be installed and now I have to end this great day as I kick the blanket to have a rest. Once again Happy 18th birthday Jingren, study hard for the O's. goodnight world...

2007-09-03T17:18:00.000+08:00

Making the news

Hey all, sorry for now posting about my soccer tournament. My eyes couldn't hold up with all the sun and running in the morning. Well here goes, we come out 4th after the whole tournament and yes I was definitely disappointed. I used with what I was left with saturday as an eraser, rub the sadness away. I mean like I know that soccer was just a game and afterall we gave our best. But I mean, I can't just hide the disappointment under the blankets and think that it never exist. Dealing isn't one of my traits, so it might take a while longer for me to deal with the problem.

Stifle my screams was my saturday night routine. The week hit the end of the road, which send me over a unformed ramp falling into the vast sea. Sunday wasn't what I imagined it to be, the abundant of lacking entertainment kinda left me hanging. Forced to entertain my thoughts of the better tomorrow and the shifting emotions bewilders me. Choices are like presents in weird boxes, each leaving a different expression, emotion and reaction. So shake the present first before opening, it might not what you think it would be.

The permeating emotions drag me in circles. Losing in soccer, having a 'you're hot' compliment, naggy parents and a good sermon were the people who basically made my day. Creating a wonderful yet drastic mind, which does not appeal the people around me and myself. Can I stand under your umbrella ella ella eh eh eh when it rains? My mind is a whirlpool at the moment, I can't think on the straight-line basis and yes it is like the reducing balance. Each thought with a tagging emotion just help make or break the mask I wear each day.

The song by lifehouse revolves as thought freeflow. Everything was the title, God is near and I know. How can I stand here with you and not be moved by You? Would You tell me how could it be any better than this? Would You take me in? Take me deeper now?. Lost in the track of the lyrics. Give me sometime to get hold of myself, I'm sorry people, hope you understand. goodnight world...

2007-09-01T16:30:00.000+08:00

The feeling mixture

Hmmm it's the first of September tomorrow. It sure sounds familiar, it rings a bell in my head but it just does not stir anything up. *Scratch head* oh! it's day the where the students thanks their teacher even if they hated their teachers. Haha just kidding, teacher's day celebration was on today and I happen to wake my to school. Smelling the coffee at 7.30 am today wasn't the best morning sunlight. Seeing light at such hour, kinda gets me the mixed feelings of irritated and excited. Excitement was in for my dress to impress idea as I head back to school, but irritated to the idea of being late to dreamland but got kicked out of dreamland early. Yea just like the song, why do they have to put the starz in my eyes that early! haha the song still gets me grooving. Come on everybody, put your next to each other and point your index finger on each hand, then you move your bum to the opposite side where you bob your hand up and down. I can teach you if you want to x). Touching back on my emphasised day, it was a the rekindled rapport with the teachers that got me smiling. Who wouldn't thank Mrs. Raj who was the best english teacher I've ever come across unless you were talking about the pretty canadian english teacher when I was in primary 6. Okok 2 good teachers for 2 different reasons =).

After the visitation and having sights on the ex-students, I said to myself, "My some formal students changed for the better, why some just got worst.". I know, who am I to judge but come on it was just something that float through my mind. Age 17 make or break people. Hopefully I'm categorised under 'make'. Yes, some girls got really pretty, like the freedom of choice of clothes played to their anthem, while some are having trouble starting their own anthem. Haha better stop saying before I find myself in the middle angry fashion victims just waiting to pound on me.

Ahhh, the great outdoors. Well tomorrow is the soccer tournament, and once again, butterflies flew down my throat and to my stomach. I'm excited yet nervous at the same moment, and I'm telling you the feeling is getting to me. Hopefully, sleep won't be a trouble. Man as I type, time whist by me and I have to sleep. Once again, dad is asking me to put the moon into my eyes now. Alright matey I'm off to bed and one more thing. I love you all teacher, for the finale, Happy Teacher's Day. goodnight world...

2007-08-31T16:50:00.000+08:00

The Jester's song to the people

Hey people, I wanted to do a post but I guess I have this song stuck in my head. I really love it and I would love for you guys to have a bit of it.

hope you all love the song, cause I did goodnightworld...

2007-08-30T17:04:00.000+08:00

Help needed

Warning: This post contains offence content. Sorry about it if it affects you.

Back to my comfy spot on my computer chair typing in this entry. Had to do this post pretty discreetly as my dad makes his so often visit to the restroom, but I'm saying that he is just wanting to check on whether I am on my way to dream land. Friends is the word to look out for now, for what I need now is more support then nagging at me that I should just stop it. Well this is my blog and I do feel better when I type my emotions on the blog. It is like letting it out, so don't ask me to stop acting go into that emotional trance, it is like standing a side and watch me die. Times like this is when a person needs more comfort from his/her friends as you can read that he is not getting much from the world already. No offence to anyone, I'm not saying that you are wrong on asking me to place a barrier against the emotional river, it just that you make me feel worst upon doing so.

Well, anyway coming back on what I was here mainly for, my day. It was good, today took a different turn for me actually haha. No no this good vibr has nothing to do with any pretty girl, it's just that I'm just... hmmm haven't said this in a long time but happy! Not much chatters on msn but started to play back an old school computer game haha. Living the old memories =). Todays post will be rather in normal english, sorry for that. Just that with the constant checks from dad kinda stop me from thinking much deeper. For today I'll take a shallow dive.

Hmm. looking forward to tomorrow actually. School, soccer team dinner and game haha smile for the day cause I did. goodnight world...

2007-08-29T16:28:00.000+08:00

Flight plans

I guess my flight to square one was delayed, or rather I missed the flight on purpose. Being on this plane kicks up the memories in me, like flying on a rewind button. Everything move into a familiar rhythm, like I've been on this flight before, I even know where the exits of the plane are. Where was I heading to again? or yea back to square one love airport. Oh well, let's go back to the start.

My thought stirred into a question on whether should I be on this plane? Was the timing right? Next thing I know, reports of a bad weather forcast and the landing would have to be delayed. With time bought, I really thought through as to avoid getting the right decision wrong. The weather started to remove it's grey stick ons as I felt landing at square one love airport was the right decision.

After landing from the long flight, it wasn't long before emotions continue to go on a freeflow motion. I guess it's the jetlag I got. Ahh, back at square one made all hope for a better emotion vibe just vanish. It like there wasn't a single change.

Oh well, guess I've grown dead from the emotion feasting on me. Maybe flight to square one was just a transit and then head off to a area where everything just falls in place, able to kiss the butterfly on my nose. If only if only, but looks like it's a one way ticket and I'm not heading anywhere else. Today being tuesday wasn't much fun, just stayed home and face the music from a nagging voice in my head. Tears and whines was the expression that best describe my day. Maybe someday I'll paint a smile to the day. Smile people, it makes me smile. Love you all take care and goodnight world...

2007-08-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

Dead Rainbow

The sun rises to take a peek on me then leaves me out to the ominous night. That is like the situation going on in my world. Believing the coming of good day, was actually a method I've adopted to fight the losing war of facing reality. Cars and bars rythmes and are the common topics for the 18 year olds. It's like what happen to hide and seek, or the crazy boybands that got us all hyped up. I guess after hitting a certain age, you just leave your seat at the blackjack table and join the poker table. I guess my plans on chatting about the lovey dovey controversies are out of the title for topics with guys and some girls even.

One topic down to talk about leaves me hanging actually with nothing else, maybe I should try to feel hype about cars and beers. So I'll be back in game of being cool and a nice guy to talk with. Well, it's monday afterall, it's dreadful. A start to a week, not knowing about what is going to hit you but you can try sleeping with one eye open. Well, at least I have something to look forward to. With a soccer tournament up ahead, it keeps me wanting to face tomorrow and get done with it. I guess there isn't much installed for me this week or not that I know of. Well there's one thing I know for sure, my emotions are just going to remain feeding on agony and sorrow pills. Not the best prescription of food intake, but it's what I've been surviving on the past month or so.

The emo crowd are just people who wants to show how they actually feel. Well give them the credit for being real, unless of course you think it is a new fashion statement and you become one. But, honestly coming to think about it, there isn't a need to flaunt your raping sadness by slitting your wrist or wearing night on your body. Just be true to your emotions and share the sadness to the close friend. Uncertain on where sharing can take you, well let me just say that sharing can take you really far. A variety of sharing beacon would be a close friend?, teacher?, pastor? or like what I am doing, people who visits this sink(webpage). Other methods includes, shouting to the open sea, do some sports or wear a joy mask. Choosing a fashion colour black just scares people away or look utterly gay for the guys. Conversing about skinny ties and the perfect eyeliner ain't the best options with the normal folks. If that's your approached then your conversations would have to be subtitled to the normal crowd. Well, there you have it, ways to quit emo. Nope there isn't a 1800-to-quit-emo hotline which I know of.

Weird that I would teach about quitting being emo when I find it so real in my life. I'm just glad I don't wear it. Remember people emo is homo, so don't start it. You feel it, share it. I know it's easier to bottle it up for yourself to see, but it's the main factor to your vapidness. Afterall, all these teaching seems to have spoken to one person and that's me. Constantly lost in my warped emotions and to find myself lost again. Well, My time here is done.

goodnight world...

2007-08-27T17:12:00.000+08:00

The love glove doesn't fit

Sunday, a day not made for show and tell or work, but it's to be relaxing and enjoyable and so I thought. I sure did enjoy the sermon today at service. Hitting on the raw facts again the sank deep and got me pondering. It is like a question that lingers in your head and you debate with yourself when you actually know the correct answer. A forceful fight with the right moves but the truth just comes around and gets back at you.

I think I need an interlude for myself to consider what I really want from life. A good time off will be good. I always picture have a sit at starbucks, lying back on the sofa and let you mind chatters to itself while sipping over a cup of vanilla latte. Yea I love that drink, why? well it is simple but yet it permeates your taste buds with it's rich aroma of coffee with a vanilla twist. With such a tapping on your tongue, it just press on the rewind button on your life and look back of good times and bad times. Memories that stayed, either left a scar or a smile, but it's all good.

Dinner today was taken to the next level today. There was this japanese boy at the age of 15, kinda sat down and talk to us. We didn't know him but for a guy to come up to a group and 9 and try to spark a conversation with us kinda made me feel young again. I remember when I was young I enjoyed going for plays, which I still do, I talked to strangers and they would just enjoy talking to me or maybe they seem so. Haha, comunication ain't a factor when you are young, the only problem is not knowing when to stop. Well, talking about this japanese boy, well he was interesting, he would try to act out actions for words he didn't have a word for, like playing charades. Won't talk about what we laughed about, but the joke was on Miao Feng and he thought she was a korean. He said I look like his friend =). A japanese pull off I guess haha. He collected out names and translated them into japanese and talked a while more before leaving.

I feel that the world need more of such people. To just be open and chatter with other parties to share knowledge. We lack the talking factor people when we hit a certain age.

I wish I could just cash in all my emotions and get clean again. I want to know actually, can we get clean again? The bragging emotion overwhelms and soon makes joy a mask I put on. The absence of joy painted my town dull grey and it sulks into you even if it was just a glimpse you took. A teary tattoo is needled on the heart, I am only left with your enthralling smile that fights the ache.

Beer lies 5km away, club beats at 20km away, you are 40km away but God is 0 km away. Share to break the lies I've tagged with my emotions. A heart longing for a break through, but it's longing is shorten by your ignorance. If only I held the pen for the ending of my love ode.

goodnight world...

2007-08-26T18:07:00.000+08:00

Buttered- Scorch!

The sun was my enemy today. It showed no mercy poor face and made it red. No, not in the manner of when the cute girl look at me and made me red. Nono, it didn't made me mad, but it burnt me like BBQ beef on a hot grill. My face is pretty red like across the cheeks, I think I look like Faye Wong now. Bad bad, what was worst to add on to my undesirable burn was to have a bad flu. Each the I had to blow my nose, I had to rub my nose and that means rub the burn. It is like holding you at gunpoint and you have no chioce but to say your last words.

Soon, sunsets and the moon rises. I met up with Ying Kai and his gang to just talk rot and talk about the time lapse we had lost. Met a new guy named, Michael. He is an Indo, and had talking with me about girl we preferred and those we kinda dislike.

Yes, I have been asked quite a few times by people, young and old, thin and fat, short and tall about what kind of girl do I actually like. Yes this post is hot! with Sean's fact on his girl taste!

1. So do you like girls with the long lushes hair? or the bob hairstyle? which is short and playful.

Sean: The bob hairstyle =).

2. So how will language play in your "dream" girl?

Sean: I like the chinese girl who is more on the english speaking side. Chinese is quite a turn off for me honestly.
-
3. What feature of a female body are you attracted to?
Sean: Hmmm, do I really have to answer this? Well, I will go with the legs. Nice legs x).
-
4. Does height or age matters to you?
Sean: haha no, so long there is a great connection and understanding I think it's perfectly alright. But not super old too. haha
--
Well there you have it. Sean's little secret is out. Well I'm pretty tired from all this talking so I'm sorry all but having to sign out early is kinda what I have to do. Sleep waits for no one too.

goodnight world...

2007-08-25T18:00:00.000+08:00

I went from hero to zero...

I am sooo going to kill myself for letting this happen to me,

I didn't know there wasn't a TANJONG KATONG MRT and made me panic for I thought I was going to be late for my oral examination.
I kinda felt I didn't impress at the coversation section of the examination.
I saw this cute girl! and didn't have the guts to take her number or even say hi.
Finally, for the finale of my day, I screwed up internet connection on my computer and have to use my Bro's laptop for this post.

AHH! I woke up really early to prepare and calm myself for today's oral examination. But it seems that waking up early kinda gave the wrong intention to the butterflies. YES! more butterflies invited themselves into my stomach and make me all panicky and breaking out cold sweat. Hmm, I will not going into the details of the self-thought MRT that existed and made me feel worst than I already am. The only think I know for sure I had a little controversy with myself for not confirming things and it felt kinda girl-like. So not proud of it now.

Moving on, I reached the school 15 mins earlier, I had to pay $6 for this time allowence. Yes, the fancy blue time machine, from what we all know it as taxi, cab or a shopper's best friend. I reach the school, and it looked rather decent. It wasn't like rotten and shabby looking like... my heart =(. Okok back on track, psshh, can't I just take a detour about my emotions and get back to the story. Alright~, don't want to hear my boring literature of love and life and why. Coming back, my eyes couldn't resist but to spot a really sweet, cute looking girl. My my coming for examinations might just be a whole new ball game with a SPECIAL REFEREE! WOOO LALA, my my you sure got me looking at you~ you give love a bad name eh~ haha okok. Sitting at the waiting chair ain't really the best feeling. It just plays with your thoughts on what the picture, passage or conversation might be. Will it be a picture of a dinosaur? yes, I had my hopes for that! is there anything wrong? Maybe a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip? that would be thoughtful of the invigilator, oh oh or maybe the cute girl. If it was the cute girl, I'll just say "angelic sweetness" and that would still be an understatement. Now you see what I mean, about waiting chairs and wild imaginations.

So about this cutie pie, she went for the exam with the first batch of 3 and I was with the second batch of 3. So we all ended up in the quarantine room, till 3 pm. Why not 4 pm? 5? Oppps too far, 3.50pm?. When I walked in I notice her looking at me with those eye, that you felt like you could just drop dead any moment. AHHH! why didn't I say hi or even smile? *knock on my head* HELLO!? I was kinda asking gentleman-self on whether I should get her number, well I actually find it rude to ask for a girl's number in public as it is like invading her life. So in the end, yes you've guessed it, not the fairy tale ending. I ended up beating myself. If numbers didn't work for me, why not the e-mail!? ahh! come on Sean, have you lost you thinking cap? ok let's just wait till the 24th of october for my next exam. Ahhh so longg~ =(.

Alright, Q and A now.

1. What? How did your oral actually went?

Well honestly, I think I did well in fact. I didn't stumble on my words for the passage reading, no further questions for the picture description, conversation went boarderline to me. Hope the china students gave them the worst ever and my marks may just go up =). Ok next question.

2. Hmmm, what was the picture about?

Haha the pretty girl of course! Nah just messing with you, it is about this massive satay BBQ. Like a super long line of people cooking satay like they were setting some record.

3. Do you seriously regret about not asking for the "cutie pie's" number?

To be really honest with myself. YES! and by saying yes, I beat myself. Can't you ask something else? pshh!

4. Ok~ sorry dude! Well to end this Q n A session, so when will you internet be back for more interesting post and msn chatters?

Well, I surely hope it will be soon! As much as you do, I want my internet back for the better. I miss chatting with people on msn even though it is for just like erm? 4 days? Can't take it noooo moreee.

Well, soccer duty calls so goodnight world...

2007-08-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

Where's Waldo?

The title rings a bell in your head? Recollections stirring in your head, finding what this title means to you? Well, Waldo isn't your good friend till you find him. Ahh now you remember, Waldo is the weird looking geek who is a fashion victim of red and white horizontal stripes shirt and headwear. Despite the weird name and appearance, he is good at keeping you in search of him for mins if you are good or lucky, if not hours. If you happen to fall in the 'hours' catagory, it either means you are getting old for the game, otherwise get some glasses on that silly face of yours.

Oral exam escaped from prison, and is making a run to hunt me down. Sadly, I thought turning him in would actually keep me safe from getting cold feet or stomach butterflies. The known fact that he is on the loose and will be coming for me tomorrow at 1415 hours, ain't the peace offering I intended initially. Yes the escape artist is the oral exam. Yes I'll try my best to get over and done with with this guy, only my guts seem to have ran out on me. A lack of confidence isn't the best way to meet with Mr. Oral Exam face to face. Ain't no loaded dice is going to save me from this.

Everything will be fine, everything will be fine *heavy panting*. I'm good with my speech, yea yea I'm good *still panting*. Ahhh, wonder what got into me. Confidence running dry, with emotions running high. Throw me into a den of lions please, or give me the news reported mouth. Now I'm hungry, crapper peppers. Can't think straight.

The day pass really for me, and before you know it, it is here the 24th of August. Not a special someone birthday, nor an anniversary. But at least it isn't dooms day, but slightly below it haha. Alright alright, I'm exaggerating things. Smile tomorrow will be good right?

Watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S on youtube was pretty funny and nice. Have not been doing much these days. I guess I should really start on my study spree. Ohh, O levels for a private candidtate, means no school uniform will be provided for me. Ahhh, come on Sean, think think dress to impress. What to where? Formal? tie? emo-skinny tie? lol that would be funny. Wait wait, before you get me wrong, I do not have any skinny tie or eye-liner that belongs to me. I do not wear studded belt or slit my wrist to show my affliction. I take it out on soccer if not drink something to make me happy. However, I can't deny my stinking accumulation of stinking emotion garbage at the back of my mind. Just hope everything works well.

Tried a prank call of my friend, Jane, today haha. Sorry Jane I promise I will do better the next time, no more Mr. Rogers asking you to bring fine paint brushes and a glass bottle for an comeback lesson on your free day. x). Jane is a really fun girl to chat with, being in Laselle, she is a perfect artist be it chatting or eating KFC right Jane? wahahha Smile all.

Well, I better head off to bed now, zhao shui zhao zi dui shen ti hao. Did I get that wrong? Yes it is in chinese, don't admire it in utter amazement, despite it being boombastic. Hey it is to me ok. hahaha goodnight world...

2007-08-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

A vast sea of troubles

Welcome onto the late night show with Sean. Bringing the news about his emotion weather, well as you can see rain and rain to come. A thunder storm heading south and hurricane forming in the center. Bad bad weather, even staying at home isn't safe, be wary people.

Missing the vapid stars that used to fill the sky, used to enjoy star gazing. Now even finding a place to lie back and gaze is hardly found. The weird setbacks I get, brings a bad vibe to my gut feeling. Haha are you kinda lost on what I am trying to target at with my weird sentences? Well, basically it is just talking about how I miss the old time. Where I'm careless and free, from guilt, shame and even love. Time heals it all, well I certainly hope this isn't a modern myth.

The visit to the dentist today was, simply bad. Realised that it was a false hope I was hanging onto for a month. My braces wasn't taken off today =(. Hoping it would be, but I guess I have to wait for another 3 weeks. Wasn't feeling too good about the day, but I manage to head out to meet Ryan to study. Really appreciate what he is doing for me. Thanks alot Ryan, I promise I'll get my revenge on POA since it got the better of me last year. Honestly retaking O level isn't something to be really proud of. I actually feel dumb, like everyone have moved on and I had to be hold back by the bouncer and wait for another year. Sigh. Here it comes the reenactment, of my failure. The only thing that is keeping my head up is the second chance of getting my beautiful butt into a poly.

Winding up, I think my decision on choosing joy or not isn't mine anymore. I think I have kinda left it in somewhere and someone picked it up. Well toying with it ain't a first choice, but you sure are having me on this prank. Let's just hope and pray for a sweet ending. Afterall, tomorrow will be better right? Oral in 2 days, so maybe not.

sorry for this emotional post, but I just have to let it out. Smile for the day all.

goodnight world...

2007-08-22T17:20:00.000+08:00

But my oh my

Change your mind? Wish I had the password to your mind's console. Maybe just the controller will do me good, but it seems I have not even purchased the game. Time stopped, and I didn't even care, much bothered by other toys of emotions.

1pm was when the day started for me. I better not get used to the late start, as this friday is my english O lvl oral examination. Confidence for this examination just left with the wind. Word stumbling is my norm now, yyyeaa allll II aainn'tt dooingg a Tiimmbbalaand soongg. The cold feet virus? a poison of panic in my meals? an unknown anxiety drug?, need a doctor right away. Didn't do much today, really. Boring hours filled the day beaker. Well, at least I am looking forward to the 22th! A pleasant visitation to the dentist, with 70% chance of getting a good vibe of my braces coming off. Can't wait to run my tongue over my teeth =). The other 30% mean the good vibe will be delayed for another month, *fingers crossed.*

Youtube. A place to flaunt what you can do or how stupid you can be. Some stands out to be good while others just drop dead to the floor. I have been watching some interesting videos lately, type searchword futureweapons. Warning: Viewing of content maybe onesided, as of to the mens, so ladies might find it deadd boorringg. For funny type search word, tickle me emo. A toy dedicated to the emo crowd, a new partner to slit your wrist with.

I just can't wait to enter into the poly life actually, yes I've heard of the heavy projects and the lame backstabbing nonsense. But I've heard of the hot chicks x) and of course the choice of clothes is yours. As the thought of poly enters my head, O levels comes into the picture. Guess it is something I have to pass first. Ahhh, scrape poly maybe just head to army. Throwing grenades and shooting guns, to save your country. The saying from boy to man, get me wanting to be recruited asap.

I certainly hope no SAF personnal is reading this, hahaha he will just cancel my next deferment and sent be straight to boot camp. Ok ok, I want the poly work, so work for it Sean. Tragic eyes, I don't even recognise myself from behind. Well, I'm off to think about life and how am I going to live it or leave it? haha Emo is homo.

goodnight world...

2007-08-21T17:40:00.000+08:00

A Heart's Ballad

Ever get the feeling when you didn't do something for a long time, and instead of feeling excited about it, you reenact of the reason why you stopped doing it. Well yea, and the scene I reenacted was going to school. The undone sleep, due to the early wake ups. The slight grumpy comtroversy you have with yourself, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE. I fought to stay asleeps but the morning sunlight won the battle.

After cleaning myself up, I moved to take bus 139. As I boarded the bus I was reminded about the lengthy bus ride. Plug in the Mp3 player and my eye-lids closed like the curtains after the phantom of the opera play. Deprived of sleep, due the unfinished business I have with my heart while trying to sleep the previous days. Ever wonder do counting sheeps really make you sleep? Why do thought free flow during the time you're about to rest? Worst, emotions overflow that surrounds death thoughts, but you end it by thanking God for the simple day. Finding rest only by sweeping all the emotionally attached thoughts under the carpet, hoping it will fade away. Maybe leaving the 'garbage' under your pillow hoping the tooth fairy will mistake it for a tooth you left. If ever I get paid for each thought that comes with strong emotions I will be racing to be the 2nd Bill Gates.

A projection of my heart would be a tall glass. Filling emotions till it overflow with tears, worst of all it's fragile. Stare into empty space, hoping to see heaven.

Having plans of maybe going to a club next week or the week after. The little drinks and dancing subtitled to be delaying misery. Well, at least I went to shop for another pair of shoe today, and I got it from River Island again. Same white but a different model this time. I think I am rather insecure about how I look, but isn't it better for a guy to know how to dress rather than not bothering. Guess there is a certain limit to it that I left out. Ate vanilla ice cream with bailey's again, the slight trail of alcohol are like the tips you leave for the waiter. Like giving the waiter a satisfaction about his good service, the alcohol makes the vanilla feel good about it's taste.

Quote of the day: Love is like a painter, that certain creativity keeps it ongoing.

2007-08-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

Vapid hours made the day

The week reached the edge today, until it falls again and make it's way up again. Sunday, a day where time didn't really matter if it move or not. To a very early start, I woke up at 8.30am! Astonished by the fact of it, I stumbled and headed off to church with an intention of a salesman. Nope I'm not selling cookies or insurance, but doing my part of the sales of food as it was the finale to raise church funds. The show had to end today, unsure of the profit we made but I'm sure we did better than before. Mee siam was sold like hot pancakes, while the others was sold at speeds racing for second place.

Did my salesman or hawker role from 9am to 10.40am. Soon after I found myself resting on the unbelievably comfortable sofa in Queenie's office. The comfortability of the sofa just stole the show single handedly, but rest wasn't in my schedule. Shopping was at that time slot, so after helping with a lil small request I made my way to River Island in search of the shirt I preyed on. Due to the lack of luck, Size : S wasn't caught in action. Only L and XL with was obviously way bigger than what God made me to be. Had the saying pick someone/something your own size. I just had to get something, was looking for a gentle brown shirt with white vertical stripes, but ohh well. I had to settle for a t-shirt from French Connection. A pleasant brown with a beautifying copper tread taking center stage at the shoulder back area. A work of art, and I just had to get it.

Manage back to church slightly late, but I didn't miss worship. As music knows no barriers, it just stabs or speaks directly to your heart. So worship is very important, as to get your hearts prepared for the word. A teaching of aggresiveness towards sins just like how Jesus was. A simple teaching that dug deep into my heart. Wonderful sermon, real, practical and direct.

Had a crazy time with food today, ate like there was no tomorrow. Seems like running is making its way into my daily program. 'O' Level Oral Examination is up soon. Wish I didn't had to take it, but it's a pill I had just to retake. Hopefully, english this year will be of a higher grade.

Liverpool drew today. A game with a unfair ending. Chealsea was offered a penalty which wasn't even suppose to be one. The world is a vampire, set to drain. Liverpool won in my heart. =) Great goal Torres.

Quote of the day: Love is like a see-saw, its isn't fun when it's too one-sided.

goodnight world...

2007-08-19T18:00:00.000+08:00

Men are from mars, Women from Venus

--
Lazy saturday kicked off at 1 pm for me today. It felt extremely weird actually as soccer usually filled up the saturday slot. For starters I had anime, and for the main course I was served with a smack in the face with the poison chatroom effect. Something just had to save me then and there, but thank God that dessert wasn't a monster, instead a movie. Rush Hour 3 was the title. Dessert accompanied by topping of Junjie, Akarad, Kit, Albert and Yun Loong.

A long while since I went out on a movie date with friend, as I was fighting a losing war with my emotions over poor appetite I had for my main course. Ahh, I think Msn can be used as a word with a similiar meaning to kill. Felt so jaded, but at least fellow guy companion cheered me with secondary school life stories. Thank all. My heart wonders, with my mind twirling in these racey days. I wished for a fairy-tale life, just click my heels 3 times and I get a wish, or maybe just the simple happily ever after would do me some good. You can only enjoy the highs, when there are the lows, a sentence with pure truth.

A secret smile I investigate my heart to see. Hi all welcome to my life, a life with the middle class people makes the most out of me and the rich just get richer. I hope to step up and breathe the fresh air. Ahhh the good old days, where love didn't felt so hard to come by. Easy days was the early chapters in my life, till my life book went for a roller coaster ride into being a teen. Puberty brought a deeper meaning to what love actually meant, but at times misleading. Till now, love do not get jaded but time does.

smile all, time will get me by...hopefully...

goodnight world...

2007-08-18T17:30:00.000+08:00

Bailed Vanilla

Thank God it's friday and what better way to start a friday with a lil' taste of heaven. This taste consist of Bailey Irish Cream and ice cream. To compliment the best of Irish cream, the choice of ice cream is Häagen-Dazs Vanilla. Grab a beautiful glass cup to match the taste. As you finish scooping the ice-cream into the glass, let loose the fun of Irish Cream into the glass. Don't pour too much or the taste of the vanilla will be overwhelmed. Keep the ratio of Bailey's to ice-cream, 1:8. If you follow these simple rules you are soon to taste heaven =).

The thought of creamy vanilla smoothing your senses, and a subtle fragrance of alcohol trailing behind. The trick is to keep each scoop of vanilla small before you let it slide down your throat. Keeping it small brings the taste to a full circle.

Well, my day had to move on, if only 'heaven' could company me a lil longer. Was just idling at home for time to pass till it hit hour no. 5. Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte kept my mind twirling and wanting to dance, guess it kinda lives up to it's title. Dancing to the beat, I was having my own fashion show at home. Yes, mix matching clothes is something on my daily menu. Dressing up is important happen to be a chapter in my story. Today, I've settle for the I heart NY topping, with a black base and whip cream for the feets.

Surely, I had a crazy yet fun time at church. A moment of sharing of truth somehow doesn't feel like I'm being interrogate by the mens in blue. Many things stored in lil intricate minds, but simplification had to be injected into our speech as not to complicate things. Teen cell leaders think too much haha *grins*.

Lesson of the day: Faith is believing of a ending from the start.

goodnight world...

2007-08-17T14:30:00.000+08:00

A Few Thanks

Paint the town red, not of blood but with love of course! haha Hello all, here for an early post. I've been feeling hype-up about working hard for my O levels! The thought of getting my Black Apple ibook is filed into the happy cabinet of my mind. Time to walk to the Apple store : 30 mins, Price of the Black Apple ibook: $2535. The thought of me having it: Priceless. Wait a min, I seem to be really sad to even say such a thing haha but O'well. Great dad with great buys thanks =D.

The lack of emotions and tone variation is the poison to the chatrooms. Easily mis-led into a stinging controversy. Guess we have to imagine each other as talking robots to avoid misunderstandings, the tone-less speech haha. But msn delivers a good connection to long lost friends =). Well thank you msn.

Life is really like a beach, love the tan hate the burn. There is alot of love and hate about life. But I guess whether you love or hate, the choice is in your hands. Well the trick is loving is the better option. Still, somethings remains love-hate, take for example, running. Haha each time I get over getting a better life, I get pressed down with reality of loving the little things. But I guess it's true, can't keep wishing it only makes me sad. Thank you God for my life =).

I can't wait to shop next week. I like the brand River Island despite the fact of it's prices being at the higher end. I feel fashion grows with maturity, that why dressing well and right is important for me. Just by seeing a person dressing you are slightly able to predict what kind of a person he/she is. Sorry to all the PMK, Newbie or Voltage fans, but I feel that stepping into that is childish. Well I guess one's man meat is another's man poison. Cheers big ears yea! Thanks for fashion. =)

Quote of the day: Love is like a present, wrapped beautifully and filled with surprises

goodnightworld...

2007-08-16T16:15:00.000+08:00

Somewhere over the rainbow

Woo hoo! waking up at 12pm is one of the best feelings! Much sleep you have, what Master Yoda said. Yes, chemistry class drove pass me. I really wonder if school is important these days? School's for fools? Whatever to that yo'all, peace to the middle east!

Spent my day in search of the song Clothes Off by Gym Class Heroes. It is a pretty catchy song and of course with the wrong meaning! But scrape the meaning, it makes me wanna party! Oh no, I foresee confessions and repents on sunday for me. Ook ok, see no evil~ hear no evil~ speak no evil~.

Today, got to know of my second brother is tripping to Bali! Woo hoo! a whole room to myself, it is good to know how my oldest brother feels to have his own room.

Life and love and why, one of the many questions in the minds of teenagers these days. The certain pain that leads your mind to a breakdown after a break up, or is it the rejects you get is more than what Shaquille O'Neal did in his career. If not any other problem love gives you. Well, the only thing I know is love does not hurt, it is the process that does. Well, to reach out to the people who are getting all emo, there is a toy for you tickle me EMO! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IxliAPjAk watch the ad!

Met up with Jingren today to catch up with him. Had a pretty good time talking nonsense and bragging karaoke! Singing songs like, The Ketchup Song, Fastfood Song and of course clothes off. But my my~ remember those days of the ketchup song? It's totally retarded! I bet you're singing it in your head now right?? hahaha caught ya! Thanks for the great day JR.

Thing have been better for me. Nope don't need a tickle me EMO. Smile for the day all. God bless goodnight world...

2007-08-15T18:00:00.000+08:00

The Late Night Shows

Hey! Yea It is like 3 in the morning and what am I doing at this very hour? Nope I'm not making plans to rob a bank or to delay my misery by drinking alcohol. I'm surprisingly studying, practicing maths to be exact. Realised that I have not spent much time with my books. I know and I'm sorry for having an affair with the pleasures of life, for example food, soccer and games. Time to hit the book and find my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Today, I didn't do much to get through the day. Only finished my Veronica Mars Series and a few rounds of Mahjong got me through this day. Let's see... ahh I remember, I got pissed over not having a nice decent meal for dinner. Food, a gift from God for mankind to have a subtle enjoyment of swirling flavours playing in your mouth. Like tingle-ling your tastebuds to satisfaction. Food, wasn't created to kill a the tastebuds, unless it is dangerously delicious. But sweet 'o PAPS saved my tastebuds by getting me some shellfish and noodles. =D thanks Dad.

Hmm.. this Romeo is bleeding, yes refering to me. Normal is the watch word for me this days. Waiting for things to be normal? maybe? could be? should be? would be? must be! Ahhh... people am I scary on MSN? or is chatting with me on MSN a love-hate thing? Like you love it when I say bye and hate talking to me. Ok that is so one sided. Come on give me a chance? haha My MSN saga. Well who am I to comment, maybe I'm just so unlikeable. Yes, you love to hate me. =). I'm cool with that, that's how imaginary friends came about. Hi all meet Tom.

Quote of the day: Love isn't like beer, it isn't best served cold.

goodnight world...

2007-08-14T14:35:00.000+08:00

Wake up! Smell the coffee

Actually didn't get much action for today. I didn't get much from the day, because haha I felt like I had something like what people call a hang over. Nope I wasn't drowning myself with booze the night before, but I wouldn't mind doing that. Ahhh, hate the late wake ups actually, makes Sean a grumpy boy. It just feels like I wasted a day, which I actually did.

Hmm, sometimes chatting online seems better, right? only thing it lacks the occasional accent you try to put in your sentence and emotions. But hey at least you don't have to face the person and worst the conversation drop dead silent. That honestly, hardly happens to me, but if it happens to me when I am talking to you, it does not show that I dislike talking to you, but maybe you are special or the unique hard to comeby kinda person.

Yes, if you were wondering I missed school today. Sorry JJ, didn't mean to play you out, but it's hard times for me. I am making plans of buying a shirt and another white shoes both coming from River Island. I bet you are all whispering to yourself that I am some richie rich. Well, I really wished I was. I can feel I am but I am missing one of the million factors of being a rich kid. I get worried sometimes about my missing lunch. Now that's something we do not see a rich kid worrying about.

Been drinking coffee, I feel like a police investigator working over time but not really, my coffee is low fat. Less sugar of course. Oh yea there's this new lingo or more like a new word which got me what the... you can finish this "phrase" for me with hell, sh*t, or of course the F-something but I heard fragt. Funny thing hearing this on a few Veronica Mars episodes in season 3. The word fragt well I do not know how to spell it but I'm guessing it's this way.

Ahh, physics tomorrow morning then POA. Wonder if Mr. Alarm will catch me redhanded tomorrow morning. Ohhh what the fragt, I'm off to bed hopefully it leads to dreamland fast. goodnight world...

2007-08-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

Goodie 2 Shoes

Ahh, finally sunday. There wasn't any cell this week and yea so I missed my church friends. Hmmm, woke up at 12 pm today which was supposed to be 10 am. Stretch my armss and... rush to the bathroom for a shower! hahha Today was the day, I bought my white shoes from River Island. Like a excited little boy, I wore my tight-fitting cardigan over a white Esprit shirt and black berms. Proud of the top, not so about my footwear, the silver Havaianas but I knew all that was going to change in a couple of hours. =)

A pounding beat enter my head as I plug into my MP3. It was playing All At Once by The Fray. Love the song =). Alright enough of my music affair, had one thing in mind. White shoes white shoes white shoes. Approaching the store, caught this giant word outside the store which was, SALES. Ahhh what a pleasant word to see, comforting on the wallet. Walked in saw a couple of shirt that were nice but focus focus Sean. Shoe shoe shoe. Alright saw the shoe but it was not tag with the word sales. Crap but who cares! Paid and changed into the shoe. This shoe... simply love it.

Alright enough of the girl-like shopping chat. Today in church was pretty like a action movie. Lots of emotion stirred up and were close to surfacing. Honestly, was on the verge of breaking down. Besides the emotions, there's the common shy lift chat and the moment where everyone knows you. Like James Bond or something. The only thing missing is the super cool car which I was suppose to drive and a hot babe I could wrap my hands around with. Ahh damm.. anyone would like to play that role? not the car I mean. *blush*. I couldn't say much about the day actually. Except for the fact that I look like a girl. It is like soo.. not cool. Ahhh school's for fools is on tomorrow, should I do my usual magic trick of disappearance? how about the escaping trick? In the for dummies guide, play truant. Maybe not. I'll catch a episode before heading off to bed. Still hate myself for last monday. goodnight world...

2007-08-12T02:15:00.000+08:00

Soccer and more soccer

Somebody please say I'm a soccer fanatic. It gives me pride in what I love doing. Well soccer actions and kick abouts didn't came in well for me in the morning. We played with INOVA JC and we lost 4-3. Yes, a lost to a team which we could easily trashed and half of them looked like nerds ready to hit the book after the match, really got my self-esteem. I mean I played my heart out for the team and some of our defenders didn't gave it all. Adding on to my agony, we started off with 10 men instead of the USUAL 11. Hmmm wonder why? guess some people played out last minute and didn't come. Ahh who am I to say so much anyway, I ain't that good either and we are a team. Alright guys, come on we have to buck up and work together if we want to take home 1st at the MWS soccer tournament coming up.

After the crazy work out and mad running on the field, it was Veronica Mars who accompanied me through the afternoon till evening. Guess I do not have much of a going out life anymore. Just that I feel safe at home and I won't hurt anyone if I do not leave the premises. Safe at home, my other soccer actions came from the box with a plug and we call it the television. Ahh, yes! the box which shows a moving picture on a screen which stirs different emotions in oneself depending on a certain number you select on the remote. That certain number? we call it channels. Haha nope, I'm not giving a discovery channel kinda thing for aliens who read my blog. Just thought of having fun. Oh did I mention fun? hadn't had that in a quite a while I guess.

Being a Liverpool fan, I am SO pleased and I mean SO! with the win against Aston Villa. I wish I was in London, I would probably be laughing off one of the Aston Villa fan. Maybe snatch their teddy bear wearing the Aston Villa jersey and rip it into pieces. Ok ok I didn't mean to be mean, I was just kidding. Ok please to all Aston Villa Fans, spare me the pitch forks and torches riot outside my house.

Well church is in a few hours time, I can't sleep for REASONS unknown? maybe because I lost my stuff toy dino. Awww, yea right.. like that would be my actual reason. Well I've plan to buy a white shoe from River Island. Ain't no Richie Rich, but I do know of an Aunt who favours me. No, I'm not going to beg her to buy it for me, I'm not so bad. Maybe borrow from her to get it first and wait till my next allowance to flow in and the money gets return. I love the shoe really, planning to date it. Nah it is ok people, I don't mind your company when I am on a date with River Island white shoes. It's cool and I'm cool.

Oh yea. Hope you all read the post about the Akon tickets my friend is selling. Do call him if you want any tickets ok? Be nice to him. ok?

Hmmm.. alright people be honest with me on this. Leave a tag on the way I do my post. Not about the font or size or colour, but on the way I do my daily post. Like the language, content? blah blah blah you do the maths. Just want to know if it is nice to read or like dead boringgg. Yea thanks, be honest and that way you are getting something from Santa this christmas =).

goodnight world...

2007-08-11T14:30:00.000+08:00

Lazy Days

Well, I'll start off by saying that today wasn't really a long day with a fact of waking up at like 1.30pm? I realised that these days, sleep was hard to come by, with all reasons possible, like maybe mom didn't read me a book or like I didn't finish my warm milk. Ahh whatever no point running away from the reason that cause the losing of sleep.

Basically, I stayed home the whole day watching Veronica Mars. A show starring a pretty girl who shows how a normal girl leads her life in high school. Think I'll watch such a show? I rather be dead. Talking about being dead, I've bet you've read it in the papers. It kinda took the front page when Wei Ming lost control of his car and nearly crashed into a side wall, but due to his quick reaction, the crash to be turned out to be just an accident. Yes yes, I was there that very day, kinda more like in the front seat. Ohh, reporters comes my way now. Yea kidding of course but seriously, I am still honestly shocked his "little thrill". Well however, what happen to me since on monday I rather just die then.

Just want to take this time out to specially thank Akarad and Junjie. Nope I didn't win any grammy award or whatever. It is just good to know that they knew I was and still feeling down, and when I called them, they came to meet me adn talked to me. Yes, I felt better but I'm still not ok. But really thanks both of you, saved me from my La' Miserable day.

Ohh, not cell today. I miss church friends. All right tell myself 2 more days Sean. Just 2 more days to sunday. Yea I'm a little cranky these days.

One last thing! My friend ask me to help me post. His name is Matthew. He is apparently selling tickets to Akon's upcoming party and here are the details:

Live in Concert Akon Smack That Party!!
Venue : D'Marquee, Downtown East
Date :18 August '07
Time: 7.30 pm (Door opens @6.30pm)
Duration: 2.5 hr
Price : 70 bucks! (actual price is 89!!)
Contact : Matthew 92991072

. Alright Matt I've given you the lime light. Do I get a free ticket? pretty please. Just kidding. Alright off to prepare for soccer tomorrow. goodnight world...

2007-08-10T14:54:00.000+08:00

Fireworks my heart

Here it comes again, National Day. A annual event which forces most Singaporeans to be patriotic, some just naturally are like, my bro Ron. Waking up to Stefanie Sun's We Will Get There wasn't an ideal way of waking up or even for an alarm but what can I say, it's National Day.

Still waiting for Veronica Mars Season 1 Episode 22 to be done. Ahhh this is agony, it is like I am just missing 1 episode to start season 2.

Stayed home with my aunts, cousin and grandma for a game of old classic mahjong. Found the game like life, one moment you're high, the other way down down down. Guess it is not always rainbows and butterflies...

Switched on the box with an electrical plug and caught a glimpse of the fireworks show. Yea, just like my heart, it bursts into a million pieces. Upon the past few day, I find it hard to forgive myself. Even on National Day, sadness still patronise me. Spare me the pleasant dream. I'm getting drunk in my own emotions, like is what I'm feeling is true or just something I force myself to be. Should I be free? Am I worthy? Somebody build me a time machine, not to travel back in time, but to fast forward it till my time ends. I am an emotional guy but not emo , and yes I do have long hair but I don't put on eyeliner, with a tight black jeans and shirt to compliment it. That dressing is just plain sick. Aww. tear my paper-made heart, stain it with coffee. Smile for now i guess, it's National Day.

2007-08-09T03:16:00.000+08:00

Weatherman

Yea, I have this feeling of blogging again. I just can't seem to bottle up all my emotions anymore. It is like a overloaded hard-drive or pouring coffee into a cup while dreaming into space. Well, I so totally understand the meaning of monday blues and understand why Garfield says he hate monday like Garfield predicted what was coming for me.

Monday was titled Killer Donuts. It is hard to face tuesday after what happen on monday. I kill myself each morning and praying and hoping that this is all just a nightmare, pinch myself to reality. I can't seem to get my focus back again. I wished I was the one watching not the one in it. My mouth is just filled with blood trying not to speak. At times, I stare blank into space and wished I was up there looking down at my body in other words, dead.

Emotions are like salad at the tossing process, all jumbled and mixed. I just can't differ, but I'm sure that happiness isn't an ingredient in this salad. A side of me speak of good words like, "I hope she moved on.". The other side says things like "teach me how you moved on", "I guess I didn't mean anything to you as you moved on so easily.".

Reason why I named this blog 'sinkfullofdishes' is basically to show that the problems we face are like dirty dishes in a sink after a meal and we have to clean up the problems after it happen. But well, not even a dishwasher can clean up this stain. I cry myself to sleep these days, hoping the next day the birds will fly in and pick my clothes for me. AHHH come on Sean!, wake up from that dream, it is more like waking up to choosing which knife to stab your own heart. I simply can see "moving on" as an option. I'll continue to post just check it out.

2007-04-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Chapter 13

Well, I know I have not been posting much, but it is just that there is so much going through my mind. Like girls, soccer and other commitments. I feel lost and all and I would want to just dedicate this song as it kinda speaks on how I am feeling.

And my heart hangs from this noose

Like your footsteps in crowded rooms

Filled with sweet scents of autumn blooms

Is this what you imagine?

Catch a glimpse from her empty stare

Hidden eyes behind her auburn hair

Catch my breath for the smoke to clear

And it's just as it should be

My best-laid plans

Will build and break your heart

Her guilty hands

Tear my whole world apart

My mind keeps racing

She's softly dreaming

I'm scraped and sober

But there's no one listening

And we'll wake up in vacant rooms

Pull you close to my aching skin

Broken glass on the porcelain

Is this what you imagine?

We'll forget what we used to say

And our lives won't mean anything

Pull me close as I drift away

And it's just as it should be

My best-laid plans

Will build and break your heart

Her guilty hands

Tear my whole world apart

My mind keeps racing

She's softly dreaming

I'm scraped and sober

But there's no one listening

-Chapter 13 by +44

2007-04-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Members of Mayday

Hello! are you all members of mayday for today? Well TODAY SOCCER TRAILS! hahhaha Was so excited and all! lol Couldn't concentrate during lessons hahahaha! excited mah! wahhaha what to do! today sigh... the physics teacher! he seems to be making the topic on temperature more "chim". So I didn't really listen to him, didn't want his "chimology" to influence my mind. I was really really sleepy during lesson today though must have been the sweet I ate this morning. OHH! talking about the sweet and how it came about, well today I missed the 7.30am 139 bus, so I obviously had to wait for the next one which would come in like 15mins plus time. So I walked a bus-stop down to 7-11 and get something to chew on. At the cashier was there standing a newbie, he took freaking long to get my sweet and orange juice scanned and return my change. So I believe you all would have guessed it. 139 went pass when my hand got onto the change... =/. Didn't really want to blame him, guess it was his first day. It better be! okok calm down Sean... ok back onto the not so bad part about my day. Went to doughbee got(sorry forgot how to spell) for my POA lessons. I say I was super attentive luh! but I really want to work for my POA. E8 was the past! now I want an A! hehehehe I believe I can do it! Was waiting for time to fly and finally it reached like 4.30pm! called Yu Xiang because he was going to the trails with me and Kevin being in the team could take us there. So I went to Toa Payoh MRT with Kevin and waited inside for Yu xiang! and on my goodness he took like forever! from 4.30 we waited till 4.55 then he came! what on earth! okok hurry hurry now! Don't want to be late on the first day! so from Yishun MRT we cabbed down haha. Ok training started on the super MUDDY FIELD! crap in my heart was crying out for my white boots! =( hahaha but still I'm on trail hahaha had to remember! we did sprintings, 2 touch monkey and come cone drills like zig-zag stuff like that haha. After the drills, we played a friendly against the under-16. I was more of a training match for the under-16 as their coach was the refree and kept pausing the game play to tell them their mistakes. I wasn't playing until like the very end. haha Went in as my position right-winger but crapp! I couldn't cross the ball properly! like the ball took a sudden bounce due to the muddy ground and I kicked the mud as I crossed. aHHH! I hope I did made the coach change his mind on my position! but I made no mistakes with my short passes. Hopes he takes that into consideration! and the muddy field. *fingers crossed*. Well I'm pretty shacked out from training! so I'll turn in early! goodnight world...

2007-04-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

Waiting for tomorrow

and I'm back from outer space~ hahahaa! see what I mean on being consistantly inconsistant! LOL hahaha well... today was quite a crazy day! No maddness happened till after school. The afer school effect I guess LOL! I saw myelf growing fat and was going to put n end to it! so I have decided to go back to my crazy, aka aneroxic diet! YONG TAU FOO HERE I COME! hahaha I'll be like aunty! yong tau foo bu yao yu (no oil). =DD! well I went for a crazy continuous 40 laps swim and after getting out of the pool I head home and changed into my soccer attire! hahaha! some soccer action at clementi! wahahahhaa I had a great time playing with a group of friends I have not seen in a long time! haaha but poor Jason! ahh! I'll be praying for you! He got a deep cut just at the end of his left eyebrowns! bad bad cut =( stitches I foresee. I am like DEAD BEAT NOW! but what I am really looking forward to is tomorrow! hehehe can anyone guess? hahaha I will be going for soccer trails for Balestier Khalsa soccer team! It is not a one day decision luh. So hope I perform consistantly! hehehehe Will be trying out for right winger position! hahaha GOODIE looking forward to the training! hehehe. Pray for me ok thanks? hehehehe okie let's hope tomorrow doesn't takes forever to come hahaha! I seriously *deadbeat* so sorry people! some comeback eh.. hahaha talk to you all soon ciao! goodnight world...

2007-03-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

Tampa Tampa

hehehe sorry Ben for posting late. Well yesterday Sher and I made plans to study at Rach's house with a tuition teacher, Rach herself. Ok I'll try to do it 24 style.

This scene took place between 1.50pm to 3.30pm.

Met Sher for lunch. Sometimes I wonder why is she going out so often haha I mean like her knee is INJURED!! but the day had to go on and lunch took place at the food court at Tampanies Mall. Being kind I offered to help buy her food. We ate, joked and had Daron on the line. After the wonderful lunch, I mean wonderful because it was one of the best Fish bluff Noodle with milk I had. Been trying to find a tasty Fish bluff Noodle. =) Alright! moving on we got to the basement NTUC and Sher got lots of snack! like at lot of sweet stuff. I had my share too but she got moree! =x! and if I'll ever grow fat SHER you're to be blame!! wahahhahaa! After getting all our nonsense we cabbed down to Rach house.

This scene took place between 3.40pm to 4.50pm

*Scratch head* "erm Rach how do you do the first question?" I asked. hahaha but it was a hard question haha even our "tuition teacher" had trouble wahahhaa. So much for tutoring us! hahaha We did work for an hour plus, and guess how many questions we did... just 4 wahahahha! the rest of the time snacking out! the *poof* Daron, Ben and Bernie came over. *close books! studying no more~

This scene took place between 4.50pm till 10pm

"Come Sean, I'll challange you english chess!" Ben suggested. So I guess it was my ingenious side who took over me and went to play. And yes I got my a** whooped! everybody died and soon my king. It was a sad story. I guess I rather played game of life. Daron was a real entertainer throughout the game, kept me laughing wahahaha. Thanks Daron for making it the game of life literally. hee. After the crazy time of playing, talkin nonsense and Rach planting wahahaha (inside joke! wanna know about it ask her yourself.) We sat on the steps near the pool doing a 'lil camwhoring and got to know each other better. Talked and joked our way till Bernie's parents came to pass us the food. Once again THANKS BERNIE and PARENTS! haha it sure was good food we consumed at Rach's house. Blogging about the food makes me hungry already oh crappy! then after the dinner I left...

haha ok I think I suck at doing it like 24 sorry people if the post bores you. will do a better job on it! sorry people once again! hahaha an Rach is still a meanie! haha goodnight world...

2007-03-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

Rach's a meanie

Eversince I met Rach, she have never really said something good about me ok maybe one. Let's see what she have said about me nor did anything good,

1. Sean looks like he is going to punch someone when he is playing captain's ball

2. Sean acctt only~

3. Haha Sean look like a small boy

4. Changed my salary from a $90,000 to $20,000 and leaves Ben $100,000 salary untouched (The Game Of Life)

5. Didn't know who said I was like a monkey playing blind mice at the playground but I guess it was Rach LOL!

6. Thoughts about throwing me off her balcony

7. I bet her nick lobster refers to me, as I was super red on sunday after soccer in the scorching sun.

ok now for the good deeds.

1. She said I have the ACS boy look

2. Inviting me to her house

ok that's all LOL! Rach you have to start redeeming yourself! or else this bad blood will go on and on and on! lol hahahaa We went to Rach house today but Bernie couldn't make it so dinner was Mac's =( ahahha. but we still had our crazily fun time and the common insults from Rach. Tomorrow going to study with Sher and Rach... will a war start? or will will there be peacemaking. Who's know what happens tomorrow, whether Rach's a meanie or not... but there's one thing I do know.... *whispers* she's a meanie. Aww crap! english compo! to do or not to do hmm... wahahhaha I'll rush through tomorrow I guess hahaha =x. well getting late! Goodnight world... oh ya one more thing, Ben is cool =) thanks once again hahaha God bless. =D

2007-03-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

Three cheers for the sweet ending

hehehehehe BACK! missed me? hahaha I'm sure you all are! =P haha. Well school today was new! hahaha The past few days I have been like sitting with Junjie during lessons and hanging out with. But today not that I decided to leave him hahaha ok why do I sound so gay? lol because I took POA and he didn't so I went to Plaza Singapore BMC without him. So got a chance to mix around with the people whom have been in my class but pratically unknown to me. LOL. Well they are actually cool people, there this guy crazy over card trick but I have to say I take my hats down. He's really good. After a lesson with them and the lil hangout after class, I met up with Jia Han once again. For lunch at Long John Silvers, tried the seafood combo but it was only average to me. After the average joe lunch, we started walking around PS wondering what to do... then a spark of idea came to our minds. Like *boing* you know what I'm thinking B1, I think I am B2, its Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles time! hahaha So we bought a 3.05pm show at 3.20 and amazingly we weren't late by a min or so. Advertisments were still displayed on the screen, *phew* relief. After the movie, guess it was around the same rating as the seafood combo at Long John AVERAGE. I wasn't like feeling the movie, like we were apart. 3 out of 5 is my verdict. After the crazy idea of movie, I headed off to Tanah Merah to meet Sherlyn and gang! Sher is the gang leader... ok ok I am so dead! LOL! They wanted to bring me to a place called Simpang. Initially I thought it was some pirate place hahaa but on second thoughts this is Singapore, in the end it was like a prata house haha silly me. Met new friends too like Bernadette, Yong Xian and Jeremy ( Rach's ahem) wahahahhaha! now I'm in double trouble! Is his name Yong Xian? hahahaha OPPS! =x! DOH! hahaa after the fatterning prata, we exercised of course! how? playing blind mice at a nearby playground hahaha what on earth~. Well it feels good meeting and knowing new people =). I kinda love today great day =DD! Hope there's more to come hehehe ahhH! crap 1.20am! okie I better head off goodnight world...

2007-03-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

Sorry for being lazy!

HELLO! okok I apologise once again. Man I am consistantly inconsistant. Well Monday! arghh monday blues! hahaha but at least going to school now seems rather relax. Don't have to like wake up like how I normally do for Secondary school and rush out with an heavy bag. Today lessons were alright, learnt once again about arguementative writing and for maths algebra! ok REWIND to the secondary school days trying to recap! haha Smooth sailing morning but guess the Monday blues came during lunch. SOMEONE brillant idea to eat at The Cafe Cartel for lunch. HE said that the St. Louis Babyback ribs were VERY nice. I mean I know nothing could win tony roma's but at least it would come in second place. The verdict is out, and it was like.... CRAP! yes! readers you all knew the answer before hand I know. But let me say it once again it is a POO POO! worst ribs. I rather eat Ba Ku teh! That person was JUNJIE! hahaha After the dreadful lunch we met up with Jia Han! It's been a long while since I last saw him. Not that he change like drastically but haha wanted to catch up with him. So we went to TCC. NOT THE CAFE CARTEL! Walked in TCC and sat down, the waiter introduced this drink Toasted Hazelnut Latte saying it was the drink of the month. Drink of the month? I guess the waiter forgot to add that it was the drink of the month that hardly made sales. Sigh bad food day, when Sean gets bad food he ain't a nice guy... hahhaa just kidding I'm a nice guy RIGHT people? *angel-eyes* hahaha Oh phooey! I had a straining time the gym during the evening! IT WAS MADDING to my muscles! but good training! ahhh! getting late! hehehe sorry and goodnight world...

2007-03-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

Soccer! Soccer! All the way!

Hey people firstly I want to apologise for not updating! Have been running after work so ended up really really tired. Sorry once again. Well today is a saturday and you know what that means! haha Ok ok bet you've guessed it by reading my title haha. YUP SOCCER ACTION!

Woke up at 9am and prepared myself first before heading down to MDIS. Today there was no match.. but it was training. Joyfully went down to MDIS and I saw no one at the field. Then I scratched my head thinking where did everyone go or worst did they change the venue!? worst of all my handphone and wallet happens to be in Krystal's bag! lol sorry Krystal for making you feel bad. My mitake there hee =x! hmmm feeling a little worried I turning around and thank God I saw Sebastian Kor *phew*. Not many people came down but still we had fun even though it was just a kick about. =)) But I think it was what was happening after the soccer training that made me look forward to this day. Nono not a hot date or anything, but even more soccer action at THE CAGE at Kallang. A cool indoor street soccer area. With its carpet grass I could wear my field boots to play =))! hee. Not only was I going to play at THE CAGE but it was also with my secondary school friends =). Been like a pretty long while since I met and went out with them. So this "reunion" was something I was looking for too! Soccer and a reunion what other better way could there be? haha. We played from 4-6pm! but I guess the bad point about playing at THE CAGE was that it is expensive and really humid. Like the rate is $90 per hour. All for the love of football I guess. Had a great time just hanging out with them really! take care my 5N1 brothers! hope to see you all soon again! After a crazy day of soccer, my legs are really tired out. Wishing for an OSIM isqueeze wahahhaha. I think I'll end off here take care peeps . Goodnight world...

2007-03-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

It can't be..

hheelloo world! well my day did not start of really well after coming back with our first lost for SSC (saturday soccer club). Ok can we actually change to a cooler name than that =x!. Yea a 3-2 defeat left a scar of my heart. Like we could have won seriously! crap! oh well shit happens eh. Hmm.. went out with the usual and one and only Jingren. Today was not a day for shopping, but went out to collect my clothes. hehe but I must say dinner was great! filling up our stomachs at Kenny Rodger =))! what other better way you could think of. Haha oh ya I have not stopped work. Till the 16th then I would stop. Was thinking about getting a hugo boss watch for like $685! hehehe but come to think about it i rather not waste such money on 1 item! lol why not get moreee! =). Just waiting till thursday! lalala oh getting late now! goodnight world...

2007-03-09T05:54:00.000+08:00

SORRY all.. I'm still busy with...

HEY EVERYONE! yea I know its been a while. But I'm still working! =(. Yes I want to stop but they still kinda need me to stay on so I will be working till the 16th. Oh well... Anyway I hope you all are doing well yea? Lately hmmm. I've been running hahaha slimming down! haha once again on my crazy run and nonsensical diet hahaha =x! call me to meet me! take care all =)

2007-03-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

It Sips Through A Pin-Hole

Awaking to a sunday afternoon. Found myself feeling below average, and I thought what's wrong... Hiding the feeling under the carpet in my heart, I carried on with the day preparing for church.

Stepping into church, I stood outside the sanctuary feeling rather awkward. Like my mind pulling me back but my heart pushing forward. I realised something lately, that with trouble lingering in the back of my mind keep me away from what God is saying to me or even shouting. Being honest, the sermon came and go as how my heart felt. My heart is an empty room I guess, but it was empty because I started filling it with emptiness in the first place. Its hard now to filled it back with the right love and treasure. I guess I am only left to say help?

Reaching home and just chatting on msn. At times I don't know if my feeling are true, but some are avoiding me. Really I wonder why and would like to know. Don't leave me icing over the pain please... it causes sorrow and pain to sip through the pin-holes. Have work tomorrow so I'm turning in early goodnight world...

2007-03-04T02:37:00.000+08:00

PAYDAY! and you know what that means!

hahaha! Firstly, CURSES weather! lol because of it the soccer match today was cancelled!! Kinda waited for a whole week and ended up the worst possible way! Oh well, being sad so I had to do some shopping!! (excuses).

Excuses or not I shall not be stopped! haha called my saturday shopping khaki, Mr. Jingren, first stop TAKA! Just strolling around and decided to stop and take a look at Zara and I found something really nice. It is a long-sleeve shirt with brown flower print on it! hahaha sounds gay? nah just keep your comments to yourself, I bought it already! =)

We then moved on to Paragon! but it was a just plain wastage of time. Didn't find anything nice there except for my skipping rope that I will be needing for my training from March 7th. I am going to train train train!! opps sorry too much!

Heeren came to mind! and so Heeren it was. Had to get the wallet from Fossil for a friend and went to HMV to get cd! haha I bought the Death Cab For Cutie second album. Ok, I believe most of you are all lost now, and yes I have a unusual taste of music. You can try hearing their songs, see if you like'em. Do tell me if you do! hahaha

Soon I get pretty bored from moving like a wild goose chase. So back to old-school, MARINA! haha Yes yes My third Saturday in a row to Marina blah blah.. Did the same things played arcade, pool and slacked around. Hmm.. but for dinner today. We injected some Kenny Roger into our stomach! WOO HOO! it was heavenly! Love the chicken~ sexy tasty chicken and RIBS! ahh crap feeling hungry now... (eating plain white bread =/). After the satisfying meal! We went to Marina's Zara outlet. Walk in, turn left, look up, sees white jeans, just buy. hahaha! My robotic shopping mind. Well seems like next Saturday I will be back at Taka and Marina to collect my shirt and jeans! =) Ooo.. it is like 3am now! haha better head to bed have church and captain's ball training! haha goodnight world...

2007-03-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

1979

shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time

on a live wire right up off the street

you and i should meet

junebug skipping like a stone

with the headlights pointed at the dawn

we were sure we'd never see an end to it all

and i don't even care to shake these zipper blues

and we don't know

just where our bones will rest

to dust i guess

forgotten and absorbed into the earth below

double cross the vacant and the bored

they're not sure just what we have in the store

morphine city slippin dues down to see

that we don't even care as restless as we are

we feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts

and poured cement, lamented and assured

to the lights and towns below

faster than the speed of sound

faster than we thought we'd go, beneath the sound of hope

justine never knew the rules,

hung down with the freaks and the ghouls

no apologies ever need be made, i know you better than you fake it

to see that we don't care to shake these zipper blues

and we don't know just where our bones will rest

to dust i guess

forgotten and absorbed into the earth below

the street heats the urgency of sound

as you can see there's no one around

2007-02-28T18:54:00.000+08:00

155

Love,

This is getting harder And I can't seem to pick you out of the crowd

But you my dear have been discovered a liar

And I'm afraid that this is building up for far too long

And this is not the time or place for us to speak like this

Even if i had the thought I'd never dream of it

So dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water

In a different time or place the words could make more sense

In a perfect world the future wouldn't make a dent

So dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water

Even though its the last time

Love,

This is getting the best of me

And truth be told you were the start of it all

Now you my dear might end up lonely

Before you go there's something you should know

And this is not the time or place for us to speak like this
Even if i had the thought I'd never dream of it
So dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water
In a different time or place the words could make more sense
In a perfect world the future wouldnt make a dent
So dry your hollow eyes and let's go down to the water
Even though its the last time

Please let's not speak
Don't breathe a word

Even though its the last time...

2007-02-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

Back to Normal!

YAY! hahhaa finally I am able to make my words bold and centralised! So happy to see the red title again. Hmmm.. Well anyway today I was look forward to the dinner that I was going to have in the evening with my Dad and his company. So I went to work and brought change. Why was I eager to eat dinner? is $1000 a table a good enough reason? Okok let's talk about my work now. I feel it is getting rather BORING!! Really very mudane! All day I sit inside the dark room and process x-ray films. First, I put a film for the machine to "eat", and wait for the buzzer to go *diiittttt*!! then feed the next film. I know it is super slack and for a super high pay but it is kinda like a no brainer job. I think I am getting dumber each day I work. Nevermind, just a few more days Sean! come on! Oh just to let you all know I will be stopping work on 7th March. I want to continue with my body training! =)). The clock stuck 6.30pm and finally DINNER! headed out of the place and hopped into Dad's car =).

Sitting by the table, anxious to start! but at the end... the food really sucked for $1000. Very normal and nothing special. Dad! you wasted your $. =(. ooOoo~ talking about money, my pay day is coming!! hehehe I still owe teen's cell a treat! hehehe soon soon I promise =). Anyway I feel good blogging about today hahaha. Wonder why. well anyway it is getting late so goodnight world... oh and yea it was nice talking to you Eileen if you see this =x!

2007-02-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hmm... ok ok I get it
--
Well, today I did something bad. I skipped church today. I don't know what got into me today but I just wanted to walk around. Called up Jingren and we went to marina again haha. We booked tickets to Epic movie and went around playing arcade and pool. Didn't know what else we could do haha, but I have that epic movie is a waste of MONEY!! Funny at some parts but the rest of it kinda suck!! Sigh wasted $9.50 today. Oh ya another thing I realised that what wrong with he people who walk pass me! The guys will stare at me like I am some freak show but I like it when girls look at me hahaha x). lalala. Past 2 day have not been really good for me I have to say. Emo? that I am know sure.Oh and one more thing. To you.. You can just stop talking I get it, I hear your silence loud and clear.. ='( goodnight world...

2007-02-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

Alright?
--

Hmmm there seems to have some problem with my blog page!! I cannot change the font or anything!! ahhh! it's been for a week.. what's happening!! Anyway Yesterday I had a bad game at soccer. Was not feeling the game but at least we won 2-0. My dad says he want to train me!! woo hoo!! Hmmm.. but after the soccer match was a free flow of joy and laughter. Going out with Jingren was really crazy. We headed to Marina Square and played pool. Did a lot of nonsense shots. Oh oh.. not that I am proud of it or happy about it but there was this woman from the other table poke my butt his her stick unintentionally of course!! I was take the ball out to rack and she was on the phone making a call haha. Ok don't go ahead of me I know what you all are thinking... haha! by the way have you all heard of the band +44? It is a band of 4 consisiting with 2 members previously from Blink 182, Travis Barker and Mark Hoppus. Hmmm.. Their songs are kinda like what Blink 182 used to sing but with a deeper and at times hidden agenda. Wel I hope you all will have a great day ahead. Sorry for the late POST! really got some technical problem with posting page. =( I may just post like this for a while...

2007-02-19T02:33:00.000+08:00

Appy Ew Ear Everyone

Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone! Well it's time once again for some ang bao action! haha just kidding! New year is more about meeting up with relatives than you have not seen in ages especially if your family is BIG! Today I did quite a bit of visitation! In the morning, I headed down to church.. but in a way I was dragging myself out of bed, not that I do not want to go to church but I kinda like slept at 4am! and to wake up at 9am is not really fun! haha. After the morning service ended, I headed to my Uncle's house! Saw a few of my relatives, not a lot though but I am still glad to see them. Always talking about our younger days and how we are now. Like either you have grown fatter or you have slimmed down that kind of stuff haha. After my uncle's place, I followed my brother to his girlfriend's relative house, hehe bro was quite scared as it was his first time visiting her relatives so took me with him so he at least feel at home =). Thanks kor lol =DD! Next stop was Aunty Honey's place! I tried something new there though. Beef bah kwa! lol tasted like beef jerky! it was nice! and my last stop was Jingren's house. Had a great time there, and we decided to catch the midnight movie!(We = Jingren, Mavis And I) NORBIT! lol quite a cool movie! the actress is pretty hot! not the fat lady! When I think about the fat lady, the song Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me rings in my head. What a tune to go with that fatty. Anyway I had a great day today! Not about the hongbaos but meeting up with people and all =). What a first day, prettty tired from all the visitation so goodnight world...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

2007-02-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

Hold up the fight, be strong

Just a day with Mr. Emo...

2007-02-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

Show NO MERCY when....shopping =)

SHOPPING SPREE!!! =PPppPpP! hehe I started spending money at 10.35am! Heading to the National Skin Center to see about my face condition. Everything was alright =D! well sadly the consultation fees ended more than the medication! lol. $53.80 for the consultation and the medication went up to only $12.75. hehe but it wasn't my money, daddy paid for it =).

After my visitation, I went home and prepare for the real event. I got my pay today! so it was crazy shopping day for me! I headed to city-link as a start! Was walking and next thing I found myself in flash and splash! so I bought the 2 stussy boxers I was eyeing!! hehehe a black and a white one! =D. While paying for my boxers, I just happen to turn and saw Rip Curl watches!! =) I always have been looking for a watch and I found my watch!!! But I did not get it on the spot, I needed confirmation that it will look good on me, so I gave a call to Jingren! hahaha He came straight to find me after school. So after meeting him, we headed back to the shop and yes I bought the watch! Next stop, Marina Square on hunt of Ying Kai's birthday present! But all we did was walk,stop, look then walk out of the shop haha. Nothing caught our attention. Suddenly my stomach started growling, hee I kinda missed lunch and it was about 3+ then. So I decided to eat at New York New York! hehe The food there hmmm.. I'll say it's not bad, but the fries were kinda badly done. There was this waitress... wooo~ very eye-candy I have to say. Wanted to ask for number, but it is just not me to do that. After the good meal, I headed to HMV and bought two cds! +44 and The All-American Rejects. We got pretty bored of the city hall area, so We headed to Heeren! For Fossil Wallet! and yes I bought a wallet and one for Ying Kai as present! Lastly, we caught the movie, Ghost Rider, not a bad movie but fighting scenes should have been longer though. o oh! Nicholas Cage is like super duper FIT!! His body was like *jaw-dropping*. Nope I am not gay haha. What a day I had! Pretty tired from it so Goodnight world...

2007-02-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

Finding Joy, Peace, Trust and Love

Woke up to a day which was full of cupids, Valentine's day I mean! But I did not have a date haha oh well... the single-hood life. I got on the train to Tampanies to meet and as we plan to do direct admission to Temasek Polytechnic. I really hope I can get in, as I send in three different forms, the standard JAE, to JPSAE and lastly DAE. Sound kiasu? haha I have no other options but to do so. After all the trouble at Temasek Polytechnic, I headed home. Did not know what to do so I called Yingkai up! He said that he was going to celebrate his birthday at Party World KTV. So I decided to join him on this big day. I'd say that I sure had a crazy good time there! Saw an old friend Darrel! And some crazy singing time! But how can I say that I did not wish I had a girlfriend. Some say being single is a very good option, because girls are troublesome and all. But I think otherwise. Don't bother about me people as for now in life... I'm going solo Goodnight world

2007-02-13T10:04:00.000+08:00

Delayed!

Sorry all for this late post. Well the past 2 days have been pretty hectic in a way. I have been thinking on what I might want to do after gettting such a result. Initially retaking was the first choice for me, but when I was discussing it with my dad, my heart sank when I mention retaking. Like it was not the right choice. So now I am trying to get in to TP, chances are slim but I'll try. If my appeal for TP still does not work, I think I'll head to NAFA to further my education. Despite the serious two days of deciding, there were still funny situations that made me laugh. Like on sunday, at the airport. When Vicky jie flew off =(, take care Vicky jie jie! After she left we went to burger king to eat. During the time spent at burger king Ben Fong kor was trying to speak cantonese. Sounded funny and he said he was learning cantonese songs too. Wonder why? Well he wants to be an auntie killer! LOL. Then he made a comment which made everyone jaw dropped. He said, " I am ready to kill aunties!". WAHAHA what a thing to say! After the dinner/supper at burger king, We followed Ben Fong kor as he was willing to fetch us home THANKS Ben Fong kor! =). The substance of the car consist of Sharon jie, My brother and me at the back, leaving Lionel and of course Ben Fong in front. Half-way through the trip, we all start speak and learn japanese. Ben Fong kor learn Japanese before so he was teaching us some greeting. Like he said, Watashi Ben des, then he said the reply would be Oh!! Ben-san!. A very animated language. Suddenly, Lionel said," Watashi Hardo-gay des". That scared Ben Fong kor as Lionel was the last to drop off, and Lionel being erm gay is not a liking for Ben Fong especially with Lionel in the front seat with Ben remember? Then gay Lionel strikes again, by saying, "Watashi Lionel des". Think that is normal? NO! he said that in a super girly voice! and he really sound like one! ending off his sentence with Kawaiiss-neh. *gulp* I think we should all pray for Lionel kor! wahahhaa =x! Hmm.. I'll end my post here! TODAY JAMES KOR IS GOING OFF =((. God keep him in safe arms, Your arms. Take care peeps!

2007-02-10T23:42:00.000+08:00

In the Middle of Nowhere

Today started off all well, played at James kor and Daryl kor testimonial soccer match. Despite I felt that the team was pretty unfair, I enjoyed myself today. So sad to think about James kor and Daryl kor leaving us for sometime, but something always comes to the back of my mnd that they will be back! looking forward to that day =). After soccer and lunch, I met Chih Yang at his house to cut my hair. I am a person who treats his hair like his life. So if you cut my hair badly, you can say you just pissed me off real bad. Kinda like no mistakes whatsoever! But the hair cut today was not bad at all so I'm pleased! haha was catching up with the time lost of times I had with Chih Yang. I knew him since I was in like primary 5. A great friend he is and still is to me. Now he wants to play for a band and I'll say go go go! =). Then my day went on from PS to Vivo then to Little India. Not really important oh the places I went but how I was feeling actually. Don't want to just blog about what I did in the day but more on how I felt throughout the day. Today I was trying to keep the results off my mind and kept believing that God has His plans for me. Secondly, Mr emo made a come back into my heart. Lost in this game of love, it is like a game you have to get the high score if not you fall. Well seeing how things are going, I am on the losing side. I guess I'm not up to it yet, so I'll leave this game alone for now. Pack it back and stuff it in my heart's cupboard. It just seems like a wild goose chase, a useless chase. I'm giving up I have to say. God take over I guess please thanks. goodnight my lonely world...

2007-02-10T00:52:00.000+08:00

Thank you Lord

Nope, I did not do well for my O level. In fact, I failed like crap. I got like 31 for my L1R4... I was in dismay when I saw the results. I was feeling down and all during the whole day, but in a way I think God led me to church. Talking to them made me feel normal, kinda like they know me as Sean and not a failure. At the middle of a cross-road now though. I can retake, get into a private school for a diploma, shatec or ITE. Well God choose my path I'll just follow behind. But out of the whole day I really thank God for my oldest brother, Ian. He went through exactly the same thing as me and was advising me. I guess what he say was true that some people just take a longer route. As I was feeling sad that my friends are all moving on, while I may have to stay back because I am thinking of retaking my O's. Thanks kor for your love and Thanks all who encouraged me =). My love for God is not determined by my grades but it is base on purity. I love my God thanks. =) goodnight world...

2007-02-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

Ricochet Emotions

Was thinking about te results that will be out tomorow, but I kind of guess that it is pretty useless to make assumptions now. All I know for sure is that I have to pray to calm myself down. Well all the best people! Good or bad (touching all the wood in the house), God loves you hahha =). My emotions are pretty crazy at the moment, bouncing all over the walls of my heart at a rapid. Sometimes I feel like drinking as to delay the misery, but it is not the way. I guess being emo is homo. Haha, as what Sara said which I find it pretty true, that everyday is valentine's day just show love to someone =). Then I thought about it a second time, hmmm...that means chocolate will be eaten daily! Sounds like Yingnuo will love it hahhahaa =x! Well, recently there have been an advert on T.V promoting some love CD right? Did you hear the guy who sang only heaven knows? I was like that is some freaking high-pitch voice on a rocker face LOL. Worst the last singer, who sang True Colours! What on earth! wahahhaa. So you think you can dance? I did once a breakdance move, called the deadworm. Everyone who saw it loved it man.

Anyway I am pretty tired people so once again to all my O lvl buddies all the best! take care and try and get some sleep! God bless goodnight world...

2007-02-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

Feeling a little lost

Hmmm..after a day of walking, sleeping and feeding monkeys at my work place. I felt a nudge from the lover boy in me. Why does it feel like a craving for love.. maybe it is just the whole valentine's thingy or if not I want to find love. Have not really spoken to my Dad in heaven about this issue, it seems I took control of it myself. Ahhh! what's wrong with me these days... Love is in the air, but no one else seems to be breathing it with me. Sigh I know getting all Emo is not a good step to take but it's the only option of emotion that is left available for me to choose. Well.. heading to bed now tired from thinking and believing in that small speck of hope about you... nvm me goodnight world

2007-02-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

Just like any other day... or was it?

Woke up once again at like 5.30 am! haha not really a nice feeling though but I guess this is how it is like when you start working. Not that everyone have to do it, but it is like going back to school in some sense. At least today I had like some action, not saying that I hate slacking but some other things they ask you to do is kinda like no brainer. Your will can grow to be stupid I think lol. Was glad to see ya today though.... x). Moving on Mr. Avatar (the senior tech) made me laugh the whole day though. He is an indian man but super funny. Thank God for him that makes this job more enjoyable. Working with him is a pleasure! =). Despite the fact we ended work half an hours early, I was totally shacked out! Slept through the long bus ride home. Well, now that I pay adult fare, it cause $1.18 for one trip!! ahhh like $2.36 everyday! zzz.. -.- stupid bus fares!! Well anyway i will be packing koko krunch to work! lol As to be fair to my friend who brought frosties today haha *yum yum*. okie I think I'm off here, feeling sleepy at the moment haha. Goodnight world... =)

2007-02-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

A Lack Of Colour...

Another day at work, the normal routine of waking u at like 5.30 am! just to catch the first bus to be on time for work. Haha well I was thinking on how to spend when my payday comes. First, I will be treating my family! dinner or something. Family first then next I want to buy a PSP!! haha a elegant white one will do me well. Third will be... hahaha still not planned =x but please don't start flooding my tag box with what you want! wahahha sneaky people =/. Well work today was alright I have to say, only thing I have to wear the ill-looking safety boots... it is like super uncool man. Oh well, since I am working should not be bothered must by my image. I manage to get some sleep though, like about one and a half hours =x! Hope Mr. Ong (my boss) does not see this post!

Anyway to the main topic on why the title is a lack of colour. Looking at the world today, gentlemans are missing. It is like just learn the basics ladies first and blah blah blah. Basically protecting the girl not shouting at them, accusing them or worst of all take them for some toy. I have to say I hate the guys who does that. If there is a problem, talk it out. This way both parties will understand each other better, quarrelling just breaks relationships right? I won't say I am a perfect gentleman, but people keep it in your mind and show it. I'm just on the road to be a good one. Take care people, dinner is calling me! =D

[If I told you, you were beautiful, will you date me on a regular?]

2007-02-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

WAHAHA I'm BACK!!!!!!

HELLO ALL! hahaha i know it have been like super duper LONG SINCE I BLOG! hahaha. Good news I am back! i m currently working at Singapore Technology. hehehe earning like $98 a day woo hoO! =x it is 7am - 7 pm so pls do not contact me within the timing! Anyway if you are from Class 5N1 '06 and reading this well I MISS YOU ALL! I'm fine if you are all wondering, still in love with the same things and person??? wahahhaa not saying anything! Well hope to you all soon!

2006-11-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

Sentosa =)

Hello! first of all just want to apologise for this late post. My com got infected by some spyware nonsese that I wonder why it blocks me from keeping my post updated. I d/l all the many nonsense to get rid of it but it does not seem to be working sigh... Well I had a great day at Sentosa with JYC! Yea, I bet some of you are like shouting at me to stop playing and go and study. I did not want to go at first but God told me to go and I brought work to do as well haha. Just spending time with the younger ones keeps me up. I don't know, like as though all troubles vanish when I'm with them. God is leading me into loving the younger more and more each time I'm with them. Guess He is preparing me to something big haha. The best part was I did not get really burnt wahahahha. take care people! study hard my 'O' LVL friends! =)

2006-10-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

Love the young ones =D!

Hahaha today was the most happening day in the whole year! Not just for me but for everyone! hehehe. Though I had a crappy day of soccer today, James kor never fails to speak into my heart hehe thanks James kor =). Was just trying to put the O lvl's horror away but it just lingers at the back of my mind each time I have fun.

O lvl's still did not take away fun when I went to send time with the younger ones at uncle Keith's house. Hehehe we played like 7 rounds of the polar bear game lol. Guess I am really not young anymore wahhahaha. As I was just spending time with the younger ones I was just thinking about what will happen when they grow up. As I was walking out with Jia Hao kor he shared with me that I will be the one leading them when the come up to teen's cell hehe. How exciting it would be to speak into the lifes of the younger ones. hehehe so exciting~ wahahha but I would have to start equipping myself with more of God. Also praying that I will not fall out on this wanting to reach out. My 17th birthday, is to let God use me for the future =). Thanks for all the wishes people really made my day =)

2006-10-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

What on EARTH!?!?!? wahahha =x

On this episode of Sean's up and down world, we will be revealing pick-up lines that will leave you saying what on earth? or hmm.. maybe I'll try that next time. or some you even tried before waahahha.You decide which seems best for you hahaha.

Bond. James Bond.
I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together
You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Where have you been all my life?
Does God know you've escaped from heaven?
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
Is it hot in here or is it you?
I'm drunk

Haha so there you go, the craziest, stupidest, funniest or what on earth pick up lines for you. take care ya'll

2006-10-21T07:38:00.000+08:00

What a day
--
My science practical was alright I guess, just a few careless mistakes here and there which took about 5 marks in total.
Anyway today hmm.. was quite a rough day I have to say. First the soccer match was cancelled felt quite cheated in a way. Secondly, had to cancel the 89er's outing. Yea not putting blame on anyway, in fact I want to say sorry for cancelling it hope you all understand. It feels quite crappy though i have to admit, planning something 1 month in advance and things just fall apart. Thirdly cancel cell time for Ryan's birthday, not that it was a bad thing but hahaha cell is a great place to be at.
After all I just want to thank my bro for looking out and sharing with me to help me and guide me. Thanks Ian kor. Felt much better after he talked to me. Thank God too for the lesson learnt today. goodnight world...